For awhile, he doesn't answer, mostly because he doesn't know how to. There's a hundred answers to that question and he isn't sure which is more accurate. Maybe they all are, in their own ways. He turns onto his side and curls into Hartley, hiding his face against his shoulder and not doing much more than just...lay there, taking him in, appreciating the soft thud of his heart in his ear, the warmth of his boyfriend next to him. And as much of a comfort as it all is, he almost feels so goddamn guilty for it all. Because these are the things Paco and Hart have been entirely without for however long it's been, in addition to the assumptions of being dead which is just salt in an already painful wound. How is that fair?
"I just can't stop thinking about it." he finally answers, head still resting against Hartley's shoulder. "How long has he even been there? And how terrified he must be, helpless, hopeless of every getting away or being rescued while he was thought to be dead. And it's scary to think how easily they could be us, with the right strings pulled." He shakes his head a little, "I don't know what I would do if anything ever happened to you."
He's not even entirely sure how Paco is holding himself together. Maybe he's not, but he's quieter about those sorts of things, locked it away for himself...or used it and turned it into something else entirely.
"From the sounds of it, you'd not be getting any sleep." Not really the time for jokes, but it's less an attempt of lightening the mood than gallows' humour shining through, while he curls a strand of Cisco's hair around his finger and gives it the lightest of tugs before releasing it so he can return to just petting it. What can he really say? He doesn't know the answer to any of the questions Cisco is asking. "I'm here, Cisquito. 'What if' won't help anyone, my doppelgänger or Paco. It will just make you sleep-deprived."
A fair assessment, given the tossing and turning tonight. "It's not us. Earth 2 is a very different place. Very post-apocalyptic and authoritarian, isn't it? With Zoom running around and a meta-human watch ensuring that no one with powers is allowed to lead a life away from him. Maybe there's an Earth out there where we're in even worse shape, one where we're actually dead. Maybe there's one where we're fluffy cats sleeping all day. Doesn't matter. I know your power gives you wider vision than anyone else has, but you have to focus on being yourself. We'll need that to help my doppelgänger."
He manages a stiff smile, he knows it's not exactly a joke, but it's such an obvious thing it almost is funny, in a sad way. The smallest tension eases from his shoulders at Hartley's fingers in his hair. "Yeah, I know, but..." But. He didn't know how to stop it. If he did, he would have a lot less nights like this one, where he just can't shut everything down and off. Cisco has always been really good at letting his thoughts run wild and not so much at reigning them back in.
The points he's making are so...logical and sound and it's kind of annoying the way he can do that, even when things are amped up to eleven. But Cisco's glad that he can, that he does because someone needs to be able to and it's obviously not him. He feels too much, too deeply, gets too damn sentimental to be the logical one, so Hartley gets to be the anchor in that. "Earth 2 freaking sucks." All because of Zoom and his stupid reign of terror. He doesn't like thinking about the worse off options and his nose wrinkles at the mention of it, "Are you sure about that?" Because sometimes Cisco just isn't all that confident in the hand he has to put in this fight.
"Yes, Earth 2 sucks. Ironic, isn't it? That our fake Wells was actually better at taking responsibility for his actions, partly by choosing to focus on the hero he intended to create?" They're still reenacting Eobard's plan, to whatever degree. Hartley wonders how aware the others are of that. He also wonders how aware they are that Zoom is an effect of the other Wells' actions, not the one that caused it all.
He doesn't always mind Harry. Sometimes he almost finds himself wanting his respect, the way he'd once been eager for Eobard's affections. But maybe it's the bitterness that came with everything Eobard has done or maybe it's just his inherent cynicism, but it's difficult to trust a man who fails so spectacularly at owning up to his own mistakes and even at caring, unless it intimately concerns him, like his daughter's fate did. Not a bad man, not an evil man, but not a very good one either, in his estimate.
But this all might be a bit too heavy to discuss with a sleep-deprived and worried Cisco and so for a while he just focused on holding him, ducking his head so he could nuzzle the side of his neck. "All I'm sure about is you, Cisquito. I trust in you. If we go in, knowing what we're doing, we can do anything."
He hums a noncommittal noise that's not quite either agreement or disagreement, just...existing. It is what it is, and apparently there's just something about having that face that makes a person a little more deplorable, whatever the varied level it may take on one versus another. He likes Harry, sometimes, but he can't deny the guy's made some seriously terrible decisions. And Thawne, well...Cisco never much wants to talk about him at all, for obvious reasons.
It's a little ridiculous the way that nickname makes him smile like an idiot these days when there was a time when it did nothing more than annoy the hell out of him. He enjoys the cuddly actions, though, and sighs in something bordering on contentment, if not quite. "I wish I had half the faith in myself you seem to have in me." He doesn't say it out of pity or anything, but a genuine statement. That's been a downfall of his for a long time, with the only thing he had any real confidence in being his job. The manifestation of his powers had just been a sudden reminder of how out of his depth he can get. "But I think you're right...at least, that we can do anything, together."
"We've had too much time to see how much either of us can achieve alone, Cisquito. It just stands to reason that together we'd be unstoppable. It's not faith, it's logic." Hartley is smiling when he says it and he rolls over to his side, then a bit further, so he comes to partially lie on top of Cisco. "I know it can't have been easy. Seeing what they have been through and learning that his, well, his Hart is still trapped. But if it wasn't for that, we might never have known. You already did more than Paco thought possible."
He smiles a little, unable to stop it even if he'd wanted to just then. Leave it to Hartley to make something logical. Cisco's arms wrap around him, an almost instinctual reaction as Hartley settles against him. "It was so bad, Hartley." He reaches up with one hand and cards his fingers slowly through his boyfriend's hair. "We gotta get him outta there."
"It sounds bad, yes." Of course he's only gotten the summary from Cisco and it really hadn't painted the clearest picture on the whole. But a dark picture, very much. He has no doubt about how awful this is, they've all had more than enough exposure to Zoom. "I'd like to understand why he's still alive. Do you think Zoom isn't sure whether Paco is dead? Is it just to be a sadist or is there any further reason?"
"I don't know," he frowns a little at the thought. That was the thing... they were running on the assumption that Zoom knows Paco to be dead, and the advantage it'd give them, but what if Hartley's right? What if he somehow had reason to suspect he wasn't? " I mean, I won't deny Zoom's obviously a sadist, but...why keep him around if he thinks Paco's dead? This seemed so...targeted. If the reason he had him in the first place is out of the picture, maybe there's another reason he's kept him around."
Things Cisco never thought he'd need to do in his life? Contemplate a serial killer's reasons for anything.
"Exactly. I've no idea what the reason is, if there is one, but it's something to consider." Hartley almost wishes he knew Zoom better - in a bizarre way - because then he might have been able to figure this out. He's supposed to be good at this, but he doesn't have enough information. "I don't know. I just know that this isn't getting us anywhere."
That said he pushed himself up and moved his hands to either side of Cisco, so he could lie down on top of him. He might be mostly blind, semi-dark and without his glasses, but he still finds Cisco's lips, after some failed attempts have him kiss his cheek and chin and - for a moment - his nose. "You need rest." Maybe lightly nipping Cisco's lower lip while pinning him down isn't the biggest help toward relaxing.
"Yeah...I guess you're right." He was, of course. Because they could theorize all night and still be no closer to answers than they were right now. There was no use losing sleep over it. ...Or at least any more sleep than he already had.
He smiles as Hartley moves to lie on top of him, eventually finding his lips after a couple of failed attempts. "Mmm, probably, yeah." Cisco mumbles against his lips. "But I kind of like this better," he kisses Hartley again, one arm snaking around his waist, his free hand sliding up to rest against his cheek.
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myheadisaprison) wrote2016-10-23 11:58 am
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"I just can't stop thinking about it." he finally answers, head still resting against Hartley's shoulder. "How long has he even been there? And how terrified he must be, helpless, hopeless of every getting away or being rescued while he was thought to be dead. And it's scary to think how easily they could be us, with the right strings pulled." He shakes his head a little, "I don't know what I would do if anything ever happened to you."
He's not even entirely sure how Paco is holding himself together. Maybe he's not, but he's quieter about those sorts of things, locked it away for himself...or used it and turned it into something else entirely.
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A fair assessment, given the tossing and turning tonight. "It's not us. Earth 2 is a very different place. Very post-apocalyptic and authoritarian, isn't it? With Zoom running around and a meta-human watch ensuring that no one with powers is allowed to lead a life away from him. Maybe there's an Earth out there where we're in even worse shape, one where we're actually dead. Maybe there's one where we're fluffy cats sleeping all day. Doesn't matter. I know your power gives you wider vision than anyone else has, but you have to focus on being yourself. We'll need that to help my doppelgänger."
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The points he's making are so...logical and sound and it's kind of annoying the way he can do that, even when things are amped up to eleven. But Cisco's glad that he can, that he does because someone needs to be able to and it's obviously not him. He feels too much, too deeply, gets too damn sentimental to be the logical one, so Hartley gets to be the anchor in that. "Earth 2 freaking sucks." All because of Zoom and his stupid reign of terror. He doesn't like thinking about the worse off options and his nose wrinkles at the mention of it, "Are you sure about that?" Because sometimes Cisco just isn't all that confident in the hand he has to put in this fight.
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He doesn't always mind Harry. Sometimes he almost finds himself wanting his respect, the way he'd once been eager for Eobard's affections. But maybe it's the bitterness that came with everything Eobard has done or maybe it's just his inherent cynicism, but it's difficult to trust a man who fails so spectacularly at owning up to his own mistakes and even at caring, unless it intimately concerns him, like his daughter's fate did. Not a bad man, not an evil man, but not a very good one either, in his estimate.
But this all might be a bit too heavy to discuss with a sleep-deprived and worried Cisco and so for a while he just focused on holding him, ducking his head so he could nuzzle the side of his neck. "All I'm sure about is you, Cisquito. I trust in you. If we go in, knowing what we're doing, we can do anything."
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It's a little ridiculous the way that nickname makes him smile like an idiot these days when there was a time when it did nothing more than annoy the hell out of him. He enjoys the cuddly actions, though, and sighs in something bordering on contentment, if not quite. "I wish I had half the faith in myself you seem to have in me." He doesn't say it out of pity or anything, but a genuine statement. That's been a downfall of his for a long time, with the only thing he had any real confidence in being his job. The manifestation of his powers had just been a sudden reminder of how out of his depth he can get. "But I think you're right...at least, that we can do anything, together."
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Things Cisco never thought he'd need to do in his life? Contemplate a serial killer's reasons for anything.
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That said he pushed himself up and moved his hands to either side of Cisco, so he could lie down on top of him. He might be mostly blind, semi-dark and without his glasses, but he still finds Cisco's lips, after some failed attempts have him kiss his cheek and chin and - for a moment - his nose. "You need rest." Maybe lightly nipping Cisco's lower lip while pinning him down isn't the biggest help toward relaxing.
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He smiles as Hartley moves to lie on top of him, eventually finding his lips after a couple of failed attempts. "Mmm, probably, yeah." Cisco mumbles against his lips. "But I kind of like this better," he kisses Hartley again, one arm snaking around his waist, his free hand sliding up to rest against his cheek.