His fingers twitch under Mick's own, twisting to thread them between the spaces in Mick's fingers. He stares at their linked fingers and thinks about that question, and all the implications behind it.
"I..." He starts, but his words fumble. He's so out of his element, and he feels shaky on uneven ground. "I think so... I--" the words die on his tongue because 'like you' just didn't feel right, or like enough. "I'm...comfortable with you, Mick...in ways I've never been with...anyone."
It's a big admission, but kind of like a weight off of him, and pushes him to be able to say more. "I'm safe with you. I feel safe with you. And I...I don't know what this is, or what it means, or where it could go, but... I know that... I can't lose you. That's a risk I can never take, because I already lost you once, when I left you behind in juvie and...I can't have that again. Ever, okay? And I don't...know how this works, but...if it could ruin what we already have, I don't want that to happen, okay? But..."
There's an awkward pause and amused sort of scoff as he shakes his head, biting his lip. "I don't know what to do because I think I really do...want that. but, more than that, I don't want to lose everything else and--" he lets out a frustrated sigh. his fingers untangling from Mick's as he drops his face into his hands.
He doesn't even know what the answer in all of that is, so he doesn't expect Mick to have one, either. And he's pretty sure Mick has made the worst decision ever in wanting anything with him because he's a giant, clueless, paranoid mess that no one deserves to have thrown on them.
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Date: 2018-04-12 02:29 am (UTC)"I..." He starts, but his words fumble. He's so out of his element, and he feels shaky on uneven ground. "I think so... I--" the words die on his tongue because 'like you' just didn't feel right, or like enough. "I'm...comfortable with you, Mick...in ways I've never been with...anyone."
It's a big admission, but kind of like a weight off of him, and pushes him to be able to say more. "I'm safe with you. I feel safe with you. And I...I don't know what this is, or what it means, or where it could go, but... I know that... I can't lose you. That's a risk I can never take, because I already lost you once, when I left you behind in juvie and...I can't have that again. Ever, okay? And I don't...know how this works, but...if it could ruin what we already have, I don't want that to happen, okay? But..."
There's an awkward pause and amused sort of scoff as he shakes his head, biting his lip. "I don't know what to do because I think I really do...want that. but, more than that, I don't want to lose everything else and--" he lets out a frustrated sigh. his fingers untangling from Mick's as he drops his face into his hands.
He doesn't even know what the answer in all of that is, so he doesn't expect Mick to have one, either. And he's pretty sure Mick has made the worst decision ever in wanting anything with him because he's a giant, clueless, paranoid mess that no one deserves to have thrown on them.