"No," he answers that question almost instantly. "but...like I said, we're drunk and just..." he shakes his head. It's a moot point, really. He did say it, and he did mean it, and Leonard made him feel bad for even admitting it.
Finally, he makes himself look up at Mick. He has to for the next part. Because Mick needs to be able to see the sincerity for himself. "Your feelings aren't a joke, Mick... and...I'm sorry I made you feel like I thought they were. They're not, a-and I don't. I'm just...kind of an idiot sometimes." He smiles, something that's supposed to ease the tension more than it is something happy, and it doesn't reach his eyes at all.
"Please...don't be mad." There's those words again. He can't help it. He's scared, terrified, that everything he's saying won't matter, that he's fucked this up more than he can repair it, shattered some intricate part of this that he didn't even know was there until it was too late. There's a stalled attempt to reach for Mick's hand again, abandoned because he doesn't think that's what the other boy wants from him right now.
He fidgets more with his own fingers a little. "I don't know how to put what I feel in words, really... but I know I like you. And I think spending time with you is the best way to spend any second of free time I can grab. I know I'm terrified of losing you, or something ripping you away from me. That I can't picture a future you're not in. It doesn't feel right, if I do." He shrugs a little, staring over at Mick, trying to gauge his reaction to all of this. "Is that what love's like?"
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Date: 2018-05-04 02:20 am (UTC)"No," he answers that question almost instantly. "but...like I said, we're drunk and just..." he shakes his head. It's a moot point, really. He did say it, and he did mean it, and Leonard made him feel bad for even admitting it.
Finally, he makes himself look up at Mick. He has to for the next part. Because Mick needs to be able to see the sincerity for himself. "Your feelings aren't a joke, Mick... and...I'm sorry I made you feel like I thought they were. They're not, a-and I don't. I'm just...kind of an idiot sometimes." He smiles, something that's supposed to ease the tension more than it is something happy, and it doesn't reach his eyes at all.
"Please...don't be mad." There's those words again. He can't help it. He's scared, terrified, that everything he's saying won't matter, that he's fucked this up more than he can repair it, shattered some intricate part of this that he didn't even know was there until it was too late. There's a stalled attempt to reach for Mick's hand again, abandoned because he doesn't think that's what the other boy wants from him right now.
He fidgets more with his own fingers a little. "I don't know how to put what I feel in words, really... but I know I like you. And I think spending time with you is the best way to spend any second of free time I can grab. I know I'm terrified of losing you, or something ripping you away from me. That I can't picture a future you're not in. It doesn't feel right, if I do." He shrugs a little, staring over at Mick, trying to gauge his reaction to all of this. "Is that what love's like?"