{I might be lost, but I'm not a lost cause

[myheadisaprison]

PSL with bringstheheat
Pre-canon things, teen things, etc...

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[mypriority]

The hurt people, hurt people spiel; he remembers it well. It was the only way he could make the abuse they suffered make any sense to her. Not that abuse ever truly makes sense, but the closest he could get to it at any rate.

His features falter a little, and his eyes flicker toward her for a second or two before dropping down to his hands again. She doesn't understand, either, he keeps having to remind himself of that. It's the kind of thing that changes the way people look at a person, and he doesn't think he could handle that. He doesn't want to see the pity in their eyes if the story is out there. Not to mention the rage-- it would be useless, and he doesn't want the burden on anyone else's shoulders, either. Wasn't it bad enough that he had it on his own, how could he ask anyone else to carry that, too?

"I don't think I can, Lise...it's-- it's not that simple."

[gildedshot]

"I really think you should try...but not tonight. I'll make you some hot chocolate and a sandwich. You should eat something and then try and sleep. I'll stay with you if you want. Till you're asleep." And then I'm going to find Mick and we're going to talk about this. If you can't tell him Lenny...then I'll try and tell him what little bit I know...She makes up her mind as she makes him a cup of hot chocolate with a ton of extra mini marshmallows and a simple sandwich she knew he would at least eat half of.

She returns to the couch and hands him the cup and sets the plate on the table before him. She sits beside him, close enough to be present, but not actually touching him. "I love you, Lenny. Okay. Nothing that you've done or not done or what have you could ever make me love you less."

[mypriority]

There's this no-nonsense, arguments aren't gonna cut it way about her sometimes that Leonard doesn't dare try to attribute her earning from him. But it probably is. She just wears it better. Lisa is a commanding force when she wants to be, and right now, Leonard doesn't feel like fighting about anything else.

Some things never change, no matter how much older she gets, somehow Lisa still thinks that food and hot chocolate can fix half the world's problems. Of course, now she knows more about how the world works and knows that isn't true, but she's damned if she doesn't try it as a tactic, anyway.

He accepts the offerings when she returns from the kitchen, picking up the mug of cocoa first; maybe Leonard sort of wishes hot chocolate could fix all his problems, too. "Thanks, Lise... I love you, too." They aren't words he actually says much, even to her, because they're hard. But sometimes they're also necessary. And Leonard can always handle something when it's necessary.

[gildedshot]

Oh she totally learned that from him, and as many times as Mick or him stuck cocoa and grilled cheese sandwiches in front of her it's no wonder she thinks it's what you're supposed to do when people are upset. Even now at 19 it's still her gut reaction to do just that.m It's as much for her as it is for him...it gives her a chance to think a minute, to plan her next move. Something else she learned from him.

She sits silently with him, a comfortable presence, at ease around him even if there is still enormous almost typhoon like waves of tension wafting from her brother beside her. She would sit there though, as long as he needed her too.

[mypriority]

Leonard doesn't talk much after that, unless Lisa wants to say something, because this whole night has become the most ridiculous mess that he doesn't know what to do with.

Once he's done with the food--she wasn't wrong in assuming he'd only eat half--he sighs and leans his head back against the back of the couch, staring up at the ceiling for a long moment. He looks over at Lisa and smiles a little, something humorless and a little sad. "I think I'm gonna try and sleep. Like you said."

Leonard knows he won't. Not until Mick gets home, at least. There's something about the empty space in the bed next to him that he can't handle. Even during a fight like the one they'd had tonight. Mick is the single most steady presence in his life outside of his sister and the lack of his presence is always obvious, and always hurts inside more than he would dare admit out loud.

But he can lay there and hope he falls asleep until then, anyway.

[gildedshot]

"Do you wanna sleep in my room? I changed the sheets this morning....might be...easier?" She didn't mean for it to be a question at the end but honestly when Len was this upset she knew there wasn't much she could do. Still she would offer her space if it meant he might sleep and he did need sleep after a panic attack.

Even if he winds up in his own room, the one he shares with Mick, she's gonna park her butt on the bed beside him, back to the headboard, a steady and still silent presence. She's gonna stay until hes asleep enough for her to leave without waking him. Or at least until he pretends well enough for her to humor him.

[mypriority]

He shakes his head at the question, "No...thanks, though." She's always looking out for him and he can't hate that, even if he isn't into the idea she's presenting. Somehow, it just feels wrong to consider being anywhere else, even if being in the room he shares with Mick might hurt still, too.

He isn't at all surprised when Lisa follows him, quietly insistent on not actually leaving him alone. That may actually be for the best, if he's honest; if she's there, he's not as likely to get caught in the trap of his own head again, and that can never be a bad thing.

"Thanks," he says quietly as he slips back into the room after getting changed into something more comfortable than his usual jeans. She's already sitting there, propped against the headboard like she owns the whole damn bed. "for staying." he finishes softly, sinking down onto the bed in his rightful place.

[gildedshot]

She nods and smiles at him, doesn't speak because she's pretty sure whatever she says will make him get lost in his own mind again. So she instead lets him get settled before reaching over to turn off the light. Soon only moonlight filters into the room and lets her know he's awake. She would touch him, run her fingers over his head if she knew it would help him. But she knows it would make things worse...she...hasn't been able to do that for him for a long time now. Comfort him....physically at any rate. So she sits there, a silent soldier for however long he needs her to be one.

[mypriority]

Leonard drifts in and out of a bit of a daze, but never really falls asleep, too many thoughts rolling through his mind to really let go. But Lisa's presence is enough to keep him a little more aware, not too far in his head.

He wonders how much longer Mick will be gone.

[gildedshot]

Lisa waits until Len is mostly out, at least out enough that while he'll notice her leaving the bed he likely won't notice she left the apartment. She's silent as she slips on tennis shoes and a jacket before grabbing her keys and leaving going to look for Mick and hopefully save their relationship.