{Don't be gone when I get home, you're all I have

[myheadisaprison]

PSL with viber + mostlyajerk
s3 timeline shenanigans

Comments

{Your last breath leaves ice in my veins

[thisismadfreaky]

The night is like so many others. Nothing significant or outstanding has happened. Sure, the team has crazy things going down, as per usual, but nothing they can't handle, and every day has to end at some point.

Cisco has spent most of the night on the couch, curled into Hartley's side, head pillowed against his boyfriend's chest. He draws idle patterns against Hartley's knee, only half-listening to whatever documentary they were watching and focused entirely more on the soft thud of Hartley's heartbeat.

Easy as breathing and perfect in their simplicity, these were the moments he lived for, above all else. He's comfortable and relaxed and bordering on half-asleep. "Totally gonna fall asleep on you." he mumbles, one corner of his mouth lifting in a smirk.

[mostlyajerk]

"That's novel of you." Hartley definitely didn't seem to mind, mostly because he wasn't inclined to move and even less inclined to lose the warmth of Cisco on top of him. They'd earned some downtime and nothing was more relaxing than lying on the couch like this, his fingers lost somewhere in Cisco's increasingly luscious hair and his mind only half-awake, barely focusing on the television. "I'll fall asleep under you."

[thisismadfreaky]

He can tell from the sleepy note in his own voice that Hartley's not much more awake than he is and he smirks a little. "How convenient." he mutters softly, eyes sliding shut against the feeling of fingers in his hair. Yeah, he could just fall asleep right here, like this, and be fine.

Or his phone could ring and interrupt the very comfortable moment he'd been having. Cisco groans and lays right where he is for a long moment before heaving a sigh, untangling himself from his boyfriend and sitting up to grab the offending device from the end table. There's a confused frown as he picks it up. "My dad?" He shoots a glance at Hartley, bewildered because when's the last time he even got a call from either of his parents. "Hello?"

The confusion fades from his face almost instantly and the sleepy contentment he'd been wrapped up in is swiftly replaced with a harsh awareness, his heart slamming against his chest and a chill slowly flooding in his veins. He's, by habit and default, switched to Spanish, and his words come in a rapid-fire rush. "Wait, wait-- slow down, I don't--" There's a look of horror on his face as he listens. "I-is he gonna be okay? Dad? Dad, is he gonna be okay?"

There's a moment of silence that probably wasn't as long as it felt as he listened to the explanation and then the call is ended and the phone drops to the floor with a thud. He's frozen to the spot for several excruciatingly long minutes, vision blurry, hands shaking, unable to process the news he'd just gotten.

When he finally speaks again, it's still in Spanish because he can't be bothered to switch and Hartley can understand him regardless anyway. "I need to go to the hospital." His voice is thicker than usual. "There was a wreck. Dante... they don't think he's gonna make it."

[mostlyajerk]

Hartley is wide awake the moment he hears how Cisco's voice changes. He sits up and reaches out to put a hand on Cisco's shoulder, overhearing more than he means to, simply because of how his hearing works. He knows before Cisco talks and until he is ready to talk, he simply wraps his arms around him, holding him without agency, other than to be there.

When Cisco finally explains, he nods, not letting go. "I'll get you there, Cisquito. Come on. Let's get dressed."

Not that they are naked, but not ready to go out either. So he takes Cisco by the arm and leads him to the bedroom, handing him a jacket while he pulls his own hoodie on. He isn't sure if there are any words of comfort that he can or should offer. Everything that comes to mind sounds either hollow or fake.

"I'm with you," he finally offers, still in Spanish, and he means it.

[thisismadfreaky]

Cisco is suddenly extremely glad that he's not alone. He kind of likes never being alone, always having Hartley within reach was a comfort he'd grown incredibly used to. But this is different, a deeper feeling that comes with the arms wrapping around him at just the right moment and the gentle guiding toward the bedroom. Cisco would rather just go, but he might need things like shoes and a jacket.

He's pulling on the jacket Hartley handed him when those three words make him remember how to take breathe. "Thank you, querido." He reaches for Hartley's hand and threads their fingers.

The trip to the hospital isn't very long, but it feels like ages and when they finally get there, it's just more waiting. He sits in a chair near the corner, leaned over his knees, palms pressed to his eyes.

[mostlyajerk]

There is still nothing more to say or do then be there and Hartley never thought of his presence as particularly worthwhile or comforting, unless the reason he was present was to use science or his powers or something along those lines. Just sitting around? He doubts it does much good. So he looks for other ways to do some good, leaving Cisco's side - if not for long - and gently placing a hand on his shoulder when he comes back.

"I have hot chocolate, if you want some." His most useful contribution right now. "It's the good stuff, I stole it from the nurses' lounge."

[thisismadfreaky]

Hartley may not think of himself that way, but Cisco finds his presence comforting and important. Especially here, now, when he might be more apt to let his panic swallow him whole. Where he tends to run on emotions, Hartley has a logic that grounds Cisco when his feelings threaten to run too wild. He isn't even sure Hartley knows that, but it's no less true for it.

Cisco looks up when he comes back, hot chocolate in hand and there's the briefest ghost of a smile on his face as he accepts the cup. "You would." He huffs a soft sound of amusement and takes a careful sip.

[viber]

Can I come over?

[Because he and Cisco had been over and over this by now more than once and apparently it was rude to just open a breach in his living room and come over, even if he wanted to. Cisco had to approve, it was his house, his Earth. And Paco could be a good boy, he sort of owed Cisco as much.]

[thisismadfreaky]

[That might actually be something like pride he's feeling when Cisco finds the text from Paco. But... huh. He hadn't thought about it, really, but he hadn't even heard from him in awhile. He and Hart had been busy and it's not like Cisco's been too up to socializing lately.]

You're learning. Good job.

Yeah, tho. Sure.

[viber]

[There was no further texting or warning, the breach just ripped open and there was Paco, walking through the breach and sealing it swiftly behind his. He's alone but there's no shock there, he wasn't big on dragging Hart around the place while he was still recovering and he didn't like to risk him being in any more danger.

Not that he'd left him alone, of course. He was protected.]

Cisco. [He nods his head in acknowledgement.] It's been a while.

[thisismadfreaky]

[Cisco's not surprised at the lack of response after that, and is pretty prepared for a sudden breach in his living room--for once. He's on the couch when Paco pops in and lifts his hand in a half-hearted wave.] Hey.

[He tries to smile, to not seem like anything is wrong, but there's certainly a distinctive difference in his demeanor than the last time they'd seen each other. Not that Cisco's offering up any information on the immediate.]

[viber]

Hey. [Usually it was him that offered the sort of held back smile or the reserved gestured but here was his excitable dorky mirror and he was being oddly solemn. Paco tilts his head to the side and watches Cisco for a while, it's easier to see the signs in Cisco because it's like looking at himself but Paco isn't the sort who likes to handle emotions.

Hence why he doesn't comment, he just takes a seat.] I wanted to offer my thanks. I didn't get much of a chance to. Me and Hart, we both owe you.

[thisismadfreaky]

[He notices the odd pause, but he doesn't think much on it. It's been awhile, that's all.

When he offers that up, it feels like something that happened years ago now to Cisco. So much had happened since then, his life was completely upended.]

You don't owe me. [He shakes his head, sounding almost incredulous about that particular fact. He hadn't done it for an IOU or because it'd be nice to have someone like Reverb to call in a favor from if he ever needed it. It was...the right thing. It was what they both deserved--to be at each other's side, to know they weren't as alone in the world as they'd both been made to think.] I couldn't just...leave him there. It was the only option, Paco.

[mostlyajerk]

"If you need to get cow milk, get the organic one." Yes, shopping with Hartley could be fairly high maintenance. For an ex-billionaire, he isn't one for self-indulgence for the most part, but apart from being vegetarian, he also only buys free-range, organic, fair-trade, as ethically sourced as possible, which can be exhausting as well as expensive. One of the many reasons his wardrobe mostly consists of stealing Cisco's hoodies. "You said it tasted better last time."

He holds up the carton for Cisco's approval. "Look. The cow's smiling."

[thisismadfreaky]

Shopping with Hartley had taken a bit of an adjustment on Cisco's part. And, okay, sometimes the lengths to his specificity could be a pain, but Cisco can't be bothered by that when he does things like this.

"You're adorable." He grins, reaching to take the carton from him to put it in the cart with the rest of their groceries. "And also right. It does taste better." Cisco had doubted it last time, and found out pretty quickly he assumed wrong.

[mostlyajerk]

"What? No." Hartley has no idea where the accusation - or compliment - comes from, so denying it seems to be the way to go. Mostly he feels sheepish as he reflects upon what he just said and tries to judge how adorable it has been. He doesn't really think of himself as ever being adorable, that might be the fallacy here. "It's just a fact, that cow's smiling."

But he's not really defensive about it, if Cisco sees him as adorable, that tends to work in his favour. "Is there anything else you want? We covered the basics."

[thisismadfreaky]

"Yes." He argues emphatically against the denial, a grin on his lips. "But you're always adorable to me." Sometimes it's just more apparent. Like now.

He considers it for a moment and shakes his head, "Nah, I don't think so. Should be good."

[mostlyajerk]

Hartley bumps his shoulder against Cisco's, fingers intertwining with his as he starts walking again. He looks into the cart to make sure they really have everything, then just to go over the budget. He likes maths, it's pretty much instinct.

"Do you have plans for tonight?"

oops, you wanted pain, right? >_>

[thisismadfreaky]

He grins a little wider as Hartley tangles their fingers together. Maybe it's kind of silly, but little things like that always mean a lot to Cisco. Hartley's a sight better at keeping up with finances than Cisco. It's not that he can't, but he just doesn't pay as much attention to it as Hartley tends to.

"No," He shakes his head a little, "don't really feel like going anywhere." That was his answer to such questions more often than not these days. More often than used to be usual for him. This time, though, the answer is just a tad heavier than usual, tone low, voice a little quieter. He'd only mentioned in passing before heading to the store that Paco had come by for awhile earlier. He hadn't gotten into the details of their discussions, and the conversation is still weighing on him.

Explaining what happened was exhausting on his emotions at best, and explaining it to another version of himself was far more taxing. Because he felt it too, even if he'd presented it all as anger, Cisco's not dumb. He knows it was a mask for the pain, for the thought of losing his own brother that it forced into Paco's mind just to hear about it.

[donowrong]

Where the hell have you been, man? I've been waiting for you.

[It's not that he was looking too close and hell, he didn't often play with doubles so he wasn't looking for obvious signs, he just assumed the Paco-shaped person was, you know, Paco. He didn't really want to be on this Earth, he only hopped along through the breech because Paco insisted he'd come and then he'd promptly wandered off and left Dante just sorta hanging around nearby, feeling a bit like a spare part.

His brother, ever the planner and the forward thinker, never really considered the minor details. Like his bored brother, standing around not far from STAR labs just loitering around in his usual intimidating fashion and risking a potential confrontation while he went and chatted with this Earth's Hartley for some reason or another.

So there he was. A Paco shaped guy standing outside STAR labs and him making the logical assumption that this was his brother. Though the closer he got, the more he started to note that something was off. The hair, the lack of goggles, the change of clothes? What the --]

Huh, you're being brave, hermano. [No goggles, eyes all on show, interesting. And all kinds of wrong.]

[thisismadfreaky]

[It was a normal day, like any other. Cisco's standing outside the lab, talking to Caitlin about one thing or another, laughing about something she said. He actually misses the first part, asking where he's been, too lost in his conversation to catch the calling across the way.] I know right? It's crazy, he was...

[[But then he's close enough to call Caitlin's attention away for a moment, glancing over Cisco's shoulder and something about the look on her face gets Cisco's attention.

And this time, he hears him. "You're being brave, hermano."

Cisco is frozen to the spot for a too-long moment, certain he must be hearing things, and Caitlin's face was the only thing that confirmed he couldn't be wrong. But it takes him a long time, probably longer than he'd like to admit, to find the ability to breathe again, to finally turn to face him.]

Dante?

[Distantly, he's aware Caitlin's excused herself, but it doesn't matter just now. He's too focused on his brother standing in front of him. Looking at him might have been a bad idea. He barely keeps himself together most days, but this? This threatens to make him crumble on the spot. He hasn't even pieced it together, that this isn't him. Not his brother. Not really. He's just standing rooted to the spot, looking like he's seen a ghost.]

[donowrong]

You've been gone like half an hour and you're just like chatting up girls? You dog.

[It's a joke, the tone is kept light because the last time he implied Paco was flirting, he went on a whole pro-Hart rant and how his love was undying, all that boring nonsense that Paco liked to spout when feeling defensive. It was always kind of amusing, given that he tried to play it so cool half the time and then he'd go and say stuff like that.

The closer he gets, the more awareness he really starts to have. Paco doesn't wear geeky shirts in public, not like the kind that Cisco has on right now. Paco keeps his exclusively for indoor times or when he's just chilling out, fixing tech. He'd never to go this earth and hang around in gear like that. And the goggles are gone, the hair is loose, it's all a picture of a relax Paco and when he's on duty, this isn't him. Reverb is never relaxed. Not even slightly, not even when with Hart.

So that means one thing.]

Wait... You're not Paco, are you?

[He huffs out a sharp inhale and shakes his head, holding up his hand apologetically. Great. This was the Earth one version, right? The one that helped save Hart from Zoom. He's never really had a chance to meet him but he never really wanted to. The idea of seeing someone who looked like his brother? Weird. Too weird.]

Cisco, right? [He tries his best not to look too confrontational. He's making nice, it's a lot of effort for the famously anti-social Rupture but he's trying. This guy is kinda-sorta his brother.] My bad. You look exactly like him. Which I guess you know by now.

[thisismadfreaky]

[He's talking, but Cisco isn't really hearing the words. Not until Dante pulls the pieces together, not until he hears the name Paco. That's enough to pull Cisco out of his head, just a little.]

What? [He frowns, and looks a bit like someone waking up from a blackout, eight kinds of disoriented and trying to figure out what was happening. It's brief, but it's obvious. And so is the second it all clicks.] Oh. You're-- no. Yes. I mean-- [He waves his hand a little.] No, I'm not Paco, yes, Cisco, that's-- I'm Cisco.

[If it's possible, he feels worse for being broken out of his thoughts now. Reality is crashing in on him from all sides now and it's like he's gotten that phone call all over again. He doesn't notice it, but he's leaning his shoulder heavily into the side of the building right now. Probably wouldn't be standing without the wall's support right now.]

[donowrong]

[Something is really wrong here.

Dante isn't sure what but this kid looks like he's about to keel over and every protective big brother instinct he has for Paco apparently extends to this double. He reaches out to try and steady him, frowning lightly as he watches him, concern plain on his face.]

Woah, easy there. [What did he do? What was the right move here? Where they hell did that hot chick he was talking to go? Couldn't she handle this? He was so bad at this. He always had been.] You okay? I can go grab someone...

[thisismadfreaky]

[Cisco stiffens more at the touch and it has nothing to do with any reputation he may have as Rupture and everything to do with Cisco just not being able to handle any of this right now.]

No, I'm fine. [He shakes his head, eyes down on the ground beneath his feet. He can't do this. He can't stand here and look at him and talk to him and know he's the wrong one and pretend like everything is fine.] I mean, I'm not, but-- I don't need anything, I just...

[He finally looks up at him again and the words just tumble out abruptly.] You died. [A beat and a couple of nonsense, non-word stammers.] I mean...you...my version of-- [He points down, in a silent "right here" sort of indication.] this Earth's you, I-- it's a lot. [To see him. To hear him. To stand here and talk to him. It's like getting a chance no one would ever get, to see a loved one again after they've passed... except it's not really him and Cisco is having a really hard time accepting that right now, even though, logically, he knows it.]