"They never really tried." Which if he's honest, is what hurt more than anything else. He smiles a little, but doesn't really shy away from the touch. When had he gone from being worried about what Axel would do to not being at all bothered by a sudden invasion of space? "How can you be so sure about things like that?" Cisco certainly isn't.
He can't help the soft chuckle from that comment. "Well, I think you're more interesting Janice." A beat and he tilts his head, looking down at Axel curiously, "Am I Chandler or Monica?" He asks the important questions.
"Dunno. Personal experience? I tend to be sure about a lot of stuff because life isn't any better than I want it to be so having my expectations low usually leads to me being right." Which he hated and it kept backfiring on him because he always forgot himself and got his hopes up but hey, he was never shocked in the end. That was at least something.
"You're both a mix of the two. I mean Hartley and you both have the stressed, high maintenance thing going on but you're both hopeless, awkward and desperate for love." And it was kind of fascinating actually. Axel liked it. He hummed in amusement and grinned brightly at Cisco. "I am totally going to sing at your wedding. I'm thinking Part-time Lover. Thoughts?" He was totally leaning into the Janice thing here.
"Mmm, I know that game, too. Set the bar low enough and it's supposed to help you avoid disappointments. Still end up with them anyway, huh?" Fewer than people that set those expectations too high, but...disappointments still existed anyway.
He considers it for a moment and nods, "Yeah, I guess that makes sense." He laughs lightly, "I think you might be getting a little ahead of yourself, there."
"More than enough, yeah. Huh. It's funny, isn't it? Some people live their whole lives loved, assured and believing in better and people like us? We just get screwed. I wonder if there's a quota about it. A set number of people in life have to be royally boned to make the others happy." It seemed about right. Why were Cisco, Hartley and himself so screwed and some people just ridiculously blessed. He didn't get it. He would have said it'd because he's not a great person but Cisco is so that logic didn't add up.
"People like us. Like Hartley. We deserve to be happy. The world screwed us, now it's owes us." And that was the attitude Axel had adopted, it didn't always work in his favour but he thought it was a good way to do. "Don't lose him because he's an idiot, you should be happy."
"A quota? Like, what, it's just some stupid Destined Fate that some people get fucked in life?" He wrinkles his nose. "That's bullshit, if it's true." Cisco doesn't exactly believe in fate or destiny, he's too logical and scientific to do, but all the work with timelines makes that belief maybe a little more bendable.
Cisco can't completely argue the statement, not on the surface anyway, because he felt similarly but he's pretty sure he and Axel differ in how they run with that idea. "Where's that leave you, though?" he asks, voice soft, staring down at Axel in his lap, fingers still twisting around in his hair.
Axel frowned at Cisco's words, squinting up at him like he just asked him the answer to some advance mathematics problem he didn't get. "What?" He laughed a little, unsure what Cisco was getting at here. Maybe he was being slow. Was he seriously asking that? "What about me? ...Who cares? Not here, I guess. I mean I want to be here but I can't be here so I gotta be somewhere else, right? That's about it." And that was about as far as he'd gotten up to. He tilted his head a little towards the touch, very aware he wouldn't get it much after this and trying to get as much of it as possible.
"I guess I should get myself a date with the Flash." Seemed like the most logical next step. "I have a few gags in my bag of tricks, I could have a fun time."
Cisco's a little stunned, if not by Axel's brush-off assumption that it all automatically means he just has to be...somewhere that's not here, by his own desire to not let that be the only option. How had he done this? How had Axel gotten under his skin like this? Barely a handful of weeks ago he was little more than an unnerving annoyance and now...
He huffs and shakes his head, "I'm serious, Axel--" He rolls his lips together, frowning slightly. "You shouldn't have to be alone." There. He said it. He cares, Axel, what now?
"Ha-ha, you care." Axel mocked playfully with a cocky smirk as he pulled a face and stuck out his tongue. He had no idea why or how this had happened between them and this just seemed like the logical response because the other option was to respond properly and that just hurt. He didn't know the answer, he didn't trust the assessment and the emotions were starting to make him uncomfortable. He pushed himself up a little and tilted in, smiling at Cisco. "I'll never be alone, I have a grindr."
Humour was an easy way to mask how hard this was, how much it hurt. He didn't want to stop seeing Cisco and Hartley, one he loved for a long time and the other... well, he just met him and already, he was drowning in so many different emotions and desires. His quick attachment issues struck again.
He knew this was a dumb move before he even did it, especially given the circumstances, but it was like Piper all over again. Someone was nice and Axel reacted, he fell, he got invested like an idiot. Even if he knew this one was doomed, he still had to do it. He leaned up and kissed Cisco. Nothing big, just a little kiss on the lips, unable to resist them much longer. He flopped back right afterwards and smiled, preparing for the rejection and trying to seem unphased by it. He mostly just hoped Cisco didn't shove him onto the floor. "Sorry, couldn't resist. Never miss a chance to do something you want, right?"
"Yeah...I guess I do." Weirdly enough. Cisco's still really confused about this, trying to work out in his head how the hell it had happened. Logically, it made no sense, but...then, if Cisco knew anything, it was that emotions rarely ever made sense. But regardless, it's there, and it's out in the open and he isn't sure what's going to happen next. If anything. Axel seems pretty intent on how he has to disappear after all this, not come around or whatever. He doesn't really know what to make of the fact that he doesn't completely like the idea of Axel stopping coming around. Weird.
He doesn't have time to figure out something else to say because suddenly, Axel's kissing him. Nothing crazy, just a quick peck on the lips, but it was enough to stun Cisco into silence. He opens his mouth to say something, but stops for a moment before trying again. "What was that for?" Stupid question, really, he'd kind of already answered it, but he's a little dumbfounded, give him some time.
"Dunno. You're pretty, you're fun and you like me. And I like you. I just did it." Axel shrugged his shoulders, unsure what to say and trying to judge what that expression meant. "I'm not insane, you're not going to date me. Shockingly, I learn my lessons but I don't get moments like this very often and I would love to live vicariously through films but have you ever watched a gay romance? It always ends in death or breaking up."
Axel rolled his eyes before he reached out and took Cisco's wrist, manually moving it back to his hair as a silent commend. "Look, I'll get out of your life soon, just let me have this moment? I'm pretty hot and I can make it worth your while, you could do a lot worse with your evening." He forced a smile onto his face and winked, hoping Cisco could just not make this into a big thing and kick him out this early. He was enjoying this. He didn't want it to finish. Fuck, when did he get so attracted to this dork?
Cisco smiles a little, shaking his head slightly as Axel takes his hand and moves it back to his hair. He obliges easily, carding his fingers through his hair. "This is such a mess." he mutters, sighing softly.
He'll give Axel his moment, he's not really gunning to kick him out just yet. Which is probably seriously problematic. Oh, well.
He has no idea where anything is gonna go from here. He can try to talk to Hartley, but...Cisco's not sure he'll answer. Or what he'll say if he does. Just the fact that Axel says he'll leave them alone wouldn't be enough, and how's he supposed to convince Hartley he's not as toxic to him as he's obviously convinced himself? Just like he said...it's a mess. And he doesn't really know where to go from here.
"I'm good at making a mess of things, it was always my skill." Axel smiled when his fingers started working again and he wriggled around to get re-comfortable, looking up at Cisco and just admiring the view. How the hell had he gone from hating this geek for stealing his 'true love' to suddenly feeling a strange amount of emotions for him. He wanted him to be happy too, like he wanted Hartley to be happy and an annoying, petty little voice in the back of his head kept asking what about me because he wanted so badly to be part of that happiness.
He knew he couldn't. If anything, he just kept making this worse and worse. The sooner he backed off, the better it'd be. "I shouldn't have kissed you, that's entirely my bad." Hartley was gonna be pissed. "I probably shouldn't have broken into your apartment either. Or harassed you. Or signed you up to all those bondage and sex toy magazines." There was a pause and then he smiled playfully at Cisco, unable to help himself. "I'll gladly take those off your hands."
"I'd say it wasn't your fault, but..." the chide is gentle and teasing, even if the both know the truth that sits behind it all. He sighs softly and watches as he wiggles around to get comfortable. Stupid, really, how adorable he is when everything he's doing isn't just purposely annoying.
"Probably not." He agrees, looking down at him, pulling a face. "Yeah, you feel free on that one." He chuckles lightly.
"Oh no, it was on me. I was pretty proud of it until I realised you're cute." Axel confessed with a small shrug, he wasn't that deluded, he knew he'd flipped like a lightswitch here but he saw Cisco looking so sad and it just hit him where it hurt. Apparently he cared a lot about Cisco Ramon. Which meant he had to get him Hartley and get his own ass away from him before he fucked him over too.
"I would tell you where to mail them but I don't have an official address. I live in a safe house and I feel it's not the kind of place you give out for spam mail." After all, his bombs and tech were there. And a lot of dodgy evidence. He looked up at Cisco and smiled a little, a proper, genuine smile. "Thank you. For caring. It's nice, I don't deserve it but it's still nice."
"Well, they say admitting the problem is half the battle." More teasing. Because Cisco has lost all hope of being too serious for now. Because this is easier. He doesn't think Axel will be too offended or anything, anyway. He sort of operates in a similar way.
He chuckles softly, "Yeah, that doesn't really work so well." He glances down at him, fingers still working in his hair as he returns the smile. "Everybody deserves people that care." He says it so simply, so easily, it's almost hard to believe there was ever any other option.
"God damn it, you're too precious for this world. Stop being nice to me and go back to being wary and unnerved. I'm concerned about you! Next thing you'll be getting into vans with strange men." Axel teased in return. It was a fun way to communication and it was a lot easier with Cisco. If he did this to Hartley, sometimes he got a little bit upset, it was always a hard line to walk. Hartley had a lot of baggage but then... if he had Hartley's parents, he'd have it too.
Poor guy, he never stood a chance to be normal. "Look, this might be a totally far out there suggestion and also probably a bad one too but ... you have my number. If you ever need to talk or anything, you can. If things go bad or you need someone." Axel knew he shouldn't offer that branch, he could severed all contact and back off. But he cared. In his own special way, he now cared. He had to make sure Cisco would be okay. "I'm sure you have better people but the offer stands."
He laughs, despite himself. "Hey, I know stranger danger when I see it, okay." Or at least, most of the time. He definitely had his too-trusting moments in life. Like Wells. Well. The fake Wells that wasn't actually ever Wells to begin with. He shakes the thought from his mind, though.
That offer takes him a bit by surprise. "Thanks, Axel." He smiles a little. He wants to offer the same in return, but all things considered he isn't even sure if he should. He doesn't want Axel to be alone, and he knows he could be someone there for him, but... everything with Hartley and... ugh, how did this become such a mess? He doesn't care what he should do, he's doing what feels right anyway. "Same goes for you."
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Date: 2017-02-25 06:16 pm (UTC)He can't help the soft chuckle from that comment. "Well, I think you're more interesting Janice." A beat and he tilts his head, looking down at Axel curiously, "Am I Chandler or Monica?" He asks the important questions.
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Date: 2017-02-25 06:45 pm (UTC)"You're both a mix of the two. I mean Hartley and you both have the stressed, high maintenance thing going on but you're both hopeless, awkward and desperate for love." And it was kind of fascinating actually. Axel liked it. He hummed in amusement and grinned brightly at Cisco. "I am totally going to sing at your wedding. I'm thinking Part-time Lover. Thoughts?" He was totally leaning into the Janice thing here.
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Date: 2017-02-25 07:44 pm (UTC)He considers it for a moment and nods, "Yeah, I guess that makes sense." He laughs lightly, "I think you might be getting a little ahead of yourself, there."
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Date: 2017-02-25 08:53 pm (UTC)"People like us. Like Hartley. We deserve to be happy. The world screwed us, now it's owes us." And that was the attitude Axel had adopted, it didn't always work in his favour but he thought it was a good way to do. "Don't lose him because he's an idiot, you should be happy."
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Date: 2017-02-25 10:13 pm (UTC)Cisco can't completely argue the statement, not on the surface anyway, because he felt similarly but he's pretty sure he and Axel differ in how they run with that idea. "Where's that leave you, though?" he asks, voice soft, staring down at Axel in his lap, fingers still twisting around in his hair.
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Date: 2017-02-25 10:34 pm (UTC)"I guess I should get myself a date with the Flash." Seemed like the most logical next step. "I have a few gags in my bag of tricks, I could have a fun time."
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Date: 2017-02-25 10:56 pm (UTC)He huffs and shakes his head, "I'm serious, Axel--" He rolls his lips together, frowning slightly. "You shouldn't have to be alone." There. He said it. He cares, Axel, what now?
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Date: 2017-02-25 11:09 pm (UTC)Humour was an easy way to mask how hard this was, how much it hurt. He didn't want to stop seeing Cisco and Hartley, one he loved for a long time and the other... well, he just met him and already, he was drowning in so many different emotions and desires. His quick attachment issues struck again.
He knew this was a dumb move before he even did it, especially given the circumstances, but it was like Piper all over again. Someone was nice and Axel reacted, he fell, he got invested like an idiot. Even if he knew this one was doomed, he still had to do it. He leaned up and kissed Cisco. Nothing big, just a little kiss on the lips, unable to resist them much longer. He flopped back right afterwards and smiled, preparing for the rejection and trying to seem unphased by it. He mostly just hoped Cisco didn't shove him onto the floor. "Sorry, couldn't resist. Never miss a chance to do something you want, right?"
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Date: 2017-02-25 11:27 pm (UTC)He doesn't have time to figure out something else to say because suddenly, Axel's kissing him. Nothing crazy, just a quick peck on the lips, but it was enough to stun Cisco into silence. He opens his mouth to say something, but stops for a moment before trying again. "What was that for?" Stupid question, really, he'd kind of already answered it, but he's a little dumbfounded, give him some time.
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Date: 2017-02-25 11:39 pm (UTC)Axel rolled his eyes before he reached out and took Cisco's wrist, manually moving it back to his hair as a silent commend. "Look, I'll get out of your life soon, just let me have this moment? I'm pretty hot and I can make it worth your while, you could do a lot worse with your evening." He forced a smile onto his face and winked, hoping Cisco could just not make this into a big thing and kick him out this early. He was enjoying this. He didn't want it to finish. Fuck, when did he get so attracted to this dork?
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Date: 2017-02-26 12:00 am (UTC)He'll give Axel his moment, he's not really gunning to kick him out just yet. Which is probably seriously problematic. Oh, well.
He has no idea where anything is gonna go from here. He can try to talk to Hartley, but...Cisco's not sure he'll answer. Or what he'll say if he does. Just the fact that Axel says he'll leave them alone wouldn't be enough, and how's he supposed to convince Hartley he's not as toxic to him as he's obviously convinced himself? Just like he said...it's a mess. And he doesn't really know where to go from here.
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Date: 2017-02-26 12:13 am (UTC)He knew he couldn't. If anything, he just kept making this worse and worse. The sooner he backed off, the better it'd be. "I shouldn't have kissed you, that's entirely my bad." Hartley was gonna be pissed. "I probably shouldn't have broken into your apartment either. Or harassed you. Or signed you up to all those bondage and sex toy magazines." There was a pause and then he smiled playfully at Cisco, unable to help himself. "I'll gladly take those off your hands."
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Date: 2017-02-26 12:28 am (UTC)"Probably not." He agrees, looking down at him, pulling a face. "Yeah, you feel free on that one." He chuckles lightly.
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Date: 2017-02-26 12:45 am (UTC)"I would tell you where to mail them but I don't have an official address. I live in a safe house and I feel it's not the kind of place you give out for spam mail." After all, his bombs and tech were there. And a lot of dodgy evidence. He looked up at Cisco and smiled a little, a proper, genuine smile. "Thank you. For caring. It's nice, I don't deserve it but it's still nice."
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Date: 2017-02-26 12:58 am (UTC)He chuckles softly, "Yeah, that doesn't really work so well." He glances down at him, fingers still working in his hair as he returns the smile. "Everybody deserves people that care." He says it so simply, so easily, it's almost hard to believe there was ever any other option.
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Date: 2017-02-26 01:05 am (UTC)Poor guy, he never stood a chance to be normal. "Look, this might be a totally far out there suggestion and also probably a bad one too but ... you have my number. If you ever need to talk or anything, you can. If things go bad or you need someone." Axel knew he shouldn't offer that branch, he could severed all contact and back off. But he cared. In his own special way, he now cared. He had to make sure Cisco would be okay. "I'm sure you have better people but the offer stands."
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Date: 2017-02-26 01:28 am (UTC)That offer takes him a bit by surprise. "Thanks, Axel." He smiles a little. He wants to offer the same in return, but all things considered he isn't even sure if he should. He doesn't want Axel to be alone, and he knows he could be someone there for him, but... everything with Hartley and... ugh, how did this become such a mess? He doesn't care what he should do, he's doing what feels right anyway. "Same goes for you."