"I think that state of mind pretty much sums up me and Hartley." Axel knew now wasn't time for jokes but he had also been stuck in a dream, in a manner of speaking, knowing it wasn't real but convinced it was somehow something more and unable to make it stop. He stroked Cisco's hair still, fingers combing through it as he looked straight ahead. "I dunno. For reals? I guess. I don't sleep much, no real time to have nightmares."
The one bonus of being restless and excitable, he didn't have to stop, sleep and have bad dreams. Usually they did tip the scale. "You want to talk about it? The nightmare, I mean? I can't give you much but I make a pretty good sounding board sometimes."
He earns a weak smile at the words anyway. E for effort, Axel, but he isn't much in a mood for jokes. Not that he begrudges him for it, really. "Mm...lucky you, on that front." Not that Cisco was overly plagued with nightmares, usually he didn't even remember his dreams. Nit the dreams that were actually dreams, anyway. Vibes that came as dreams were a different beast all together.
He shrugs one shoulder and stays quiet for a few minutes. He's not sure it'll help, and why bother dumping that all on Axel? Idly, one finger traces nonsense patterns against the material Axel's shirt. "You know anything about the Wells that wasn't?" He's not sure what, if anything, Hartley might have divulged to him about Thawne.
"I am pretty lucky, right?" Axel bragged playfully because he only had one mode and that was comedian. He wasn't sure what to do otherwise. He wasn't one for comfort and his skills in that area were a bit lacking. He just tried to focus on and be a good boy. Cisco needed him and he wanted to be the kind of person who could be there for someone. Like he could never be for Hartley.
Maybe then he'd be less likely to fuck up. "I know the vague deets. Hart ranted about it a few times, he was his boss, he was dodgy as hell, fired him and destroyed every last bit of trust he had, rendering him a total mess as a person. Oh and he blew up some sciencey things and everyone got powers." That was what Axel had gathered vaguely from what he knew. "He made the Flash, right?"
"Yeah," he nods a little. "He...when he hired me, it was like every dream I had coming to light. Which sounds so stupid now," he shakes his head a little. "But it was amazing, I mean, I was barely out of school, and being pulled into this huge project that was gonna change the world. It all sounded so great at the time. And Wells, he was just...he saw the potential and acknowledged it and...God, looking back, it's so easy to see every mislead, every manipulation. Guess I was an easy target, he gave me all the acknowlegment and validation I never got from my parents, he was like--" Suddenly, he fumbles hard, squeezing his eyes shut, shaking his head, "like a father to me."
That was the good part, the set up for the inevitable fall. His fingers tighten around the material of Axel's shirt. "Like lying to me and using me as a pawn wasn't enough..." he let's out a hollow sounding, humorless laugh. "he killed me, too." Cisco curls tighter into Axel's side. "timeline was erased, so I gjess technically it never happened, but...I still remember it."
"Maybe... Maybe he had a good reason. Like he had to do it. Sometimes the cause outweighs the person but that doesn't mean he couldn't have loved you. Sometimes people just love in weird ways, it's all like it's ranked? And when it comes to family, both sides have to sacrifice for the end goal." Axel was not the best person to talk to on this subject, given his own relationship with the Trickster, the older Trickster, the one that pulled a move not unlike Wells. He was the only person Axel ever had, the first person to show him love and not only was he like a father to him for so many years but it turned out that it was a blood relation too. They had what Axel saw as a positive thing but clearly wasn't, not by any means. James Jesse used Axel like Wells used Cisco but in Axel's head, it made sense.
There was a degree of defensiveness in his tone because... why would Wells do that? It made no sense. Yeah, he was a dick weed but what if he did have a reason? This wasn't like with Hartley, he loved him like a son.
He paused and frowned, trying to push himself away from it. Wells might not be like Jesse, he might not be as capable of love. "I won't let anyone ever hurt you or kill you. Not again. So you don't need to be scared, lots of people have your back. Me and even Hartley, regardless of his baggage." He knew that for certain. He pulled Cisco in a little closer, unable to wrap his head around this. If Wells loved him, why did he kill him? Or was Wells just a natural liar.
"How do you remember? If the timeline was erased?"
"There wasn't a good reason... I just knew too much and he had to tie up loose ends." That much, Cisco doesn't doubt at all. Any amount of emotion he'd thought the man had toward him was just a game, a strategic move in his game of chess no one else knew they were playing and Cisco had just been a pawn all along. "And that's not how family is supposed to work, Axel," his voice is quiet, he can tell from the edge in his voice, the whole thing is hitting some of Axel's buttons, too.
He smiles, small but genuine. "Thanks, Axel." He's not sure that Hartley is really in his corner anymore, he's not sure Hartley can even let himself be there, but he'll accept the idea anyway, it's a nice sentiment anyway.
Cisco leans easily into the touch and sighs softly. "I'm a meta...s'part of my powers." He doesn't sound very enthused about it, actually. Mostly because so far, those powers haven't proven very useful, and if they're overall useless, what's the point in having them at all?
"Every family works differently. Trust me, I bounced from house to house as a kid, I got to see it myself." Axel dismissed with a wave of his hand because that wasn't a safe topic for either of them. Instead, he nodded his head and stroked Cisco's hair in a comforting manner, appreciating the fact that he'd stopped trembling at least. talking seemed to be helping. "It's okay, what are ex-boyfriend's stalkers for if not this exact reason. Random breaks in to comfort you during a panic attack and protecting you from creepy assholes who hurt you."
He grinned the best he could and tried to ease some of the unease in the room. It wasn't like he knew how to treat a panic attack but he knew how to cheer someone up? Same thing. Right?
"You're a meta? That's so cool." Like Hartley. Great. Two super powered people, pissing them off when they get back together could be deadly. "You can be a superhero. Solve crimes and kick ass. Just don't become the Flash's sidekick, that'd be kind of lame."
"Yeah, I guess that's true." He'll let it drop at that because there's no point arguing it. Neither of them are gonna be budging on their stances, there, obviously. He laughs a little, despite all the things in that statement that actually hurt to hear said out loud and shakes his head. "I have no idea. You're my first." he nudges his side a little, smirking. At least his attempts to lighten things up a bit seem to be working a little.
"I don't think so," he admits honestly with a shrug. "I can't control it, and I barely know what I can do anyway." Maybe he shouldn't be so free with that information. Axel isn't exactly the most upstanding of citizens and all. But Cisco doesn't think he'd use anything like that against him which is probably a mistake.
"Hey, gotta be the first at something." Axel winked playfully and slid down the bed a little so he could properly lie back. "I know this is breaking like so many boundary rules but I got kind of lonely and I wanted to see you... I was going to text ahead but then I didn't know if I was going to go or not and then by the time I decided, I was already climbing through your window." Which seemed like a legit and totally not creepy explanation.
"You can't? Ah. Cool." Noted. Hey, he wasn't saying he had a grand plan there but it was always handy to know when someone had a weakness, especially when they were on the other side of the game. Axel liked him but Cisco was a good guy, he was going to get in the way sooner or later. "I'm meta-free. My only power is super annoyance."
"Yeah, I guess so." He smirks a little and tilts his head to look up at him as explains the thought process that actually led him here. "Yeah, it definitely is crossing some lines, but...I'd probably still be stuck riding out a panic attack if you hadn't been here, so..." he shrugs a little. He doesn't necessarily agree with it, wouldn't necessarily want it to become a regular thing--although, hasn't it already, kind of become a regular thing at this point?--but he can't hate that he was here when he was tonight.
"Everyone's good at something," he teases, nudging him again, a more genuinely playful smirk on his lips this time.
"I'll try to be better, I will. I keep trying! It's just not very easy and I don't care that much about this stuff so it always just sorta blows up in my face." Being a better person wasn't something Axel was overly motivated by so it just didn't click for him a lot of the time. Axel sighed and turned to Cisco, trying to not let himself get dragged into anything again. Every time he saw Cisco, he had those uncomfortable yearning feelings like what he got with Hartley.
And he didn't want to do this again. It always blew up in his face. And Cisco was a good guy, he didn't want to have feelings for a white hat. Slowly, Axel sat himself up and gave Cisco a curious look. "Do you want anything? Like cheer up things? Do you have those? I have those. Whenever I'm sad, I eat lucky charms and watch cartoons. Or I doodle. I'm a good doodler." He was reading to get Cisco anything he asked for, here or otherwise, then he'd really have to leave him be before this became a thing. "What about you?"
"Hey, trying's half the battle, right?" Or something. It sounded good before he said it. Whatever.
As Axel pushes himself up, so does Cisco, leaning back on one arm as he listens to the suggestions. "Oh, uh, yeah, I mean...I guess my go-to comfort thing is movies? Star Wars, usually, 'less I'm feeling something else." He shrugs a little. He's a nerd, what can he say?
"Star Wars? Huh." There's a playful smile on his face as he leaned back and looked Cisco dead in the eyes. There was a glint of humour in his eyes. "You know, my dad looks a ridic amount like Luke Skywalker. No, seriously. Picture him older and that's pretty much my dad." Axel shrugged his shoulders, just curious if other people would see it too. Once seen, it was kind of hard to unsee. Like that dude who used to teach his history class who kind of looked like Snape.
Axel bounced to his feet and held out his hand. "Come on, let's go watch your comfort movie."
Cisco frowns at the statement initially, "Nah, he... oh god, he does, doesn't he?" He tilts his head, "If you ever find definitive proof your dad was Luke Skywalker once upon a time in a galaxy far, far away, you gotta tell me." He says, following Axel off the bed and into the living room.
He goes over to his wall-o-movies and, despite the impossible number of titles resting on the shelves, immediately grabs the movie from it's place, popping it into the player. While it starts up, he moves into the kitchen to toss a bag of popcorn in the microwave.
"Ha, I might have like Jedi blood or something. That'll be kinda bitching." And Cisco could never hate him then. Total Star Wars swag.
Axel isn't a Star Wars fan but he's sane enough to keep that to himself this early on in Cisco's friendship and hell, he could put up with that dumb space movie if he had to. Even if it was dumb. He dropped onto the couch and leaned back, idly toying with his phone as Cisco made popcorn.
"That would be pretty wicked, not gonna lie." He laughs a little and grabs the popcorn when it's done and a couple of sodas before he heads back into the living room.
He sets the drinks and bowl of popcorn down on the table and flops on the couch next to Axel. "What's your favorite movie?" he asks curiously.
"I don't really have a favourite. I have some films I like. I love Antichrist, for a film so violent, I find it strangely chill. Same with Mulholland drive. Anything Lynch. I used to really love El Topo but then I learned what a dick Alejandro Jodorowsky is and that really soured me on it. The same goes for Holy Mountain, unfortunately." Axel shrugged his shoulders before realising he kind of needed to explain his film taste, if Cisco even recognised any of those. "I mostly watch stuff when I'm high. And I'm high a lot."
Axel laughed to himself as he grabbed some popcorn before bouncing a little and turning back to Cisco with a big grin. "I also love Lilo and Stitch!"
"You weren't kidding before when you said we probably wouldn't match up on film taste," He laughs a little and shakes his head. "You know, I've never actually seen The Shining all the way through?" He admits a little sheepishly.
"Can't really go wrong with Disney or Pixar. I mean, some of them could be better, but...they're pretty great for feel-good movies." He grins.
"What? No. No, no, no, that isn't acceptable. I'm gonna let you off today because you're sad and you had a bad dream but next time we watch movies, you're finishing it." Axel insisted. Dude, seriously, that film was a classic. The ending was the best part! Axel would make him if he had to. "It's fine, when it gets scary, you can hide behind me."
Just a little light teasing as well as a genuine offer. "And yeah, no, disney isn't half bad. I think Lilo and Stitch has always been my favourite. I also like Toy Story a lot growing up. I always wanted a Woody toy."
He lets out an awkward laugh, "Yeah, I'm really bad with horror and gore. Sooo...." he spreads his hands as he draws the word out. "you're gonna have to hold true on that offer, probably." Quite literally. Hold him, Axel, scary movies are scary.
"I always liked the slinky dog the best." Because of course Cisco would prefer a side character. Hadn't he been one his entire life?
"Then it's totally a plan. You know, if we can find the time." He didn't want to push and also he knew he had to back off, especially if Hartley needed Cisco and he didn't want Axel around. Which was fine. He knew he had made his bed and he just had to lie in it. It wasn't the end of the world. "I'll protect you from all the scary things."
Just like he had tonight. He smiled and grabbed some more popcorn. "I liked Sid. His toys were the coolest."
"Cause you already know me so well." Axel mocked as he gently nudged the other in a playful manner, sipping his own drink. Well, to be fair, he wasn't wrong. "You already know me better than most. It's kinda weird. Who'd have thought it."
"Pfft," He rolls his eyes and nudges him back. But when Axel restates it, Cisco frowns a little, tipping his head. "I've only known you, what, a couple weeks? How is that even possible?" Sure, he probably doesn't talk the deep details with people on the regular and all, Axel's obviously firmly in the Keep It Close To The Vest camp, but still.
"I don't really talk to anyone else. I mean I don't have anyone. I have you and Hartley.Had Hartley. And whenever he wants me, the Trickster has me. Otherwise, I never really did the friend thing, not even in high school." Axel shrugged his shoulders, knowing it must sound weird but it was true. Axel didn't easily make friends and when he did, he usually didn't bond this fast. "I was busy writing and learning the Trickster stuff and most the people I meet, it's just to fuck. Since Hartley won't talk to me... I kind of have you. And that's it." Wait, that sounded so needy. "Not like have you that way, we're just like -- I don't know what we are. Still. It's true. It's not like I have family or anything."
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Date: 2017-02-27 04:09 pm (UTC)The one bonus of being restless and excitable, he didn't have to stop, sleep and have bad dreams. Usually they did tip the scale. "You want to talk about it? The nightmare, I mean? I can't give you much but I make a pretty good sounding board sometimes."
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Date: 2017-02-27 04:19 pm (UTC)He shrugs one shoulder and stays quiet for a few minutes. He's not sure it'll help, and why bother dumping that all on Axel? Idly, one finger traces nonsense patterns against the material Axel's shirt. "You know anything about the Wells that wasn't?" He's not sure what, if anything, Hartley might have divulged to him about Thawne.
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Date: 2017-02-27 04:31 pm (UTC)Maybe then he'd be less likely to fuck up. "I know the vague deets. Hart ranted about it a few times, he was his boss, he was dodgy as hell, fired him and destroyed every last bit of trust he had, rendering him a total mess as a person. Oh and he blew up some sciencey things and everyone got powers." That was what Axel had gathered vaguely from what he knew. "He made the Flash, right?"
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Date: 2017-02-27 05:17 pm (UTC)That was the good part, the set up for the inevitable fall. His fingers tighten around the material of Axel's shirt. "Like lying to me and using me as a pawn wasn't enough..." he let's out a hollow sounding, humorless laugh. "he killed me, too." Cisco curls tighter into Axel's side. "timeline was erased, so I gjess technically it never happened, but...I still remember it."
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Date: 2017-02-27 05:35 pm (UTC)There was a degree of defensiveness in his tone because... why would Wells do that? It made no sense. Yeah, he was a dick weed but what if he did have a reason? This wasn't like with Hartley, he loved him like a son.
He paused and frowned, trying to push himself away from it. Wells might not be like Jesse, he might not be as capable of love. "I won't let anyone ever hurt you or kill you. Not again. So you don't need to be scared, lots of people have your back. Me and even Hartley, regardless of his baggage." He knew that for certain. He pulled Cisco in a little closer, unable to wrap his head around this. If Wells loved him, why did he kill him? Or was Wells just a natural liar.
"How do you remember? If the timeline was erased?"
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Date: 2017-02-27 06:10 pm (UTC)He smiles, small but genuine. "Thanks, Axel." He's not sure that Hartley is really in his corner anymore, he's not sure Hartley can even let himself be there, but he'll accept the idea anyway, it's a nice sentiment anyway.
Cisco leans easily into the touch and sighs softly. "I'm a meta...s'part of my powers." He doesn't sound very enthused about it, actually. Mostly because so far, those powers haven't proven very useful, and if they're overall useless, what's the point in having them at all?
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Date: 2017-02-27 06:51 pm (UTC)He grinned the best he could and tried to ease some of the unease in the room. It wasn't like he knew how to treat a panic attack but he knew how to cheer someone up? Same thing. Right?
"You're a meta? That's so cool." Like Hartley. Great. Two super powered people, pissing them off when they get back together could be deadly. "You can be a superhero. Solve crimes and kick ass. Just don't become the Flash's sidekick, that'd be kind of lame."
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Date: 2017-02-27 07:53 pm (UTC)"I don't think so," he admits honestly with a shrug. "I can't control it, and I barely know what I can do anyway." Maybe he shouldn't be so free with that information. Axel isn't exactly the most upstanding of citizens and all. But Cisco doesn't think he'd use anything like that against him
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Date: 2017-02-27 08:06 pm (UTC)"You can't? Ah. Cool." Noted. Hey, he wasn't saying he had a grand plan there but it was always handy to know when someone had a weakness, especially when they were on the other side of the game. Axel liked him but Cisco was a good guy, he was going to get in the way sooner or later. "I'm meta-free. My only power is super annoyance."
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Date: 2017-02-27 08:13 pm (UTC)"Everyone's good at something," he teases, nudging him again, a more genuinely playful smirk on his lips this time.
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Date: 2017-02-27 08:32 pm (UTC)And he didn't want to do this again. It always blew up in his face. And Cisco was a good guy, he didn't want to have feelings for a white hat. Slowly, Axel sat himself up and gave Cisco a curious look. "Do you want anything? Like cheer up things? Do you have those? I have those. Whenever I'm sad, I eat lucky charms and watch cartoons. Or I doodle. I'm a good doodler." He was reading to get Cisco anything he asked for, here or otherwise, then he'd really have to leave him be before this became a thing. "What about you?"
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Date: 2017-02-27 08:38 pm (UTC)As Axel pushes himself up, so does Cisco, leaning back on one arm as he listens to the suggestions. "Oh, uh, yeah, I mean...I guess my go-to comfort thing is movies? Star Wars, usually, 'less I'm feeling something else." He shrugs a little. He's a nerd, what can he say?
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Date: 2017-02-27 08:49 pm (UTC)Axel bounced to his feet and held out his hand. "Come on, let's go watch your comfort movie."
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Date: 2017-02-27 09:04 pm (UTC)He goes over to his wall-o-movies and, despite the impossible number of titles resting on the shelves, immediately grabs the movie from it's place, popping it into the player. While it starts up, he moves into the kitchen to toss a bag of popcorn in the microwave.
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Date: 2017-02-27 09:10 pm (UTC)Axel isn't a Star Wars fan but he's sane enough to keep that to himself this early on in Cisco's friendship and hell, he could put up with that dumb space movie if he had to. Even if it was dumb. He dropped onto the couch and leaned back, idly toying with his phone as Cisco made popcorn.
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Date: 2017-02-27 10:02 pm (UTC)He sets the drinks and bowl of popcorn down on the table and flops on the couch next to Axel. "What's your favorite movie?" he asks curiously.
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Date: 2017-02-27 10:11 pm (UTC)Axel laughed to himself as he grabbed some popcorn before bouncing a little and turning back to Cisco with a big grin. "I also love Lilo and Stitch!"
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Date: 2017-02-27 10:19 pm (UTC)"Can't really go wrong with Disney or Pixar. I mean, some of them could be better, but...they're pretty great for feel-good movies." He grins.
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Date: 2017-02-27 10:23 pm (UTC)Just a little light teasing as well as a genuine offer. "And yeah, no, disney isn't half bad. I think Lilo and Stitch has always been my favourite. I also like Toy Story a lot growing up. I always wanted a Woody toy."
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Date: 2017-02-27 10:55 pm (UTC)"I always liked the slinky dog the best." Because of course Cisco would prefer a side character. Hadn't he been one his entire life?
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Date: 2017-02-27 11:04 pm (UTC)Just like he had tonight. He smiled and grabbed some more popcorn. "I liked Sid. His toys were the coolest."
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Date: 2017-02-27 11:11 pm (UTC)"Why am I not surprised?" He laughs softly.
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Date: 2017-02-27 11:17 pm (UTC)no subject
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