"Okay," in all of its strangled glory, is the hardest word he thinks he's ever heard. Because it just sounds like a concession, an agreement he makes because he has to, but not necessarily because he wants to.
"Yeah," he chokes out, nodding at the request. It's such a simple thing to ask for, which might be why the question almost breaks him to hear. "Let's go," he says quietly, slowly getting to his feet, but he doesn't let go of Mick's hand like he might have usually.
They get ready for bed in silence, just kicking off shoes and jackets and crawling beneath the covers in the dark. Simple and mundane activities that used to be a comfort, that used to calm Mick's restlessness.
Not tonight. Mick keeps to his promise. He doesn't try anything, he doesn't even reach over to hold his hand or gather his partner into his arms like he so desperately wants to. To both offer and receive comfort.
He doesn't sleep that night. He can't, not with his head and his heart still at war over what had been said. A deal had been made and Mick still feels utterly sick over it.
Mick Rory loves Leonard Snart. He always will. He's been stupidly gone on him since a year or two after juvie and no matter how strained things got, no matter how frustrating he could be, Mick always comes back. Always. It's like Leonard has a gravitational pull all his own - one that draws Mick back in before he can even consider it's happening.
Mick is also pretty sure that Leonard loves him too. Nobody would put up with his temperamental bullshit, his possessiveness and his impulse control problems if they didn't give a damn.
Mick also craves touch almost as deeply as he craves fire. Not random touch, nobody can just climb him like a mountain when they see fit, but when he needs it, when that itch beneath his skin is almost too much to bear, a hand will soothe it away almost as easily as fire.
Fuck. He doesn't know what to do. Mick wishes he was as smart as his partner in moments like this, moments when he needed to be able to think of another way to handle a situation because right now the only options all seem to involve some level of hurt.
They were so perfectly in sync during the heist. It's just everywhere else that rhythm seems to have fallen apart and he hates it.
Mick is nothing if not a man of his word. He's always been that way in all the time Leonard has known him. Sometimes things didn't pan out, but he never broke a promise if there was any chance he could keep it. Leonard never expected this to be different.
Sometimes, though, a person can be driven by something wholly subconscious, and while he sleeps, that is exactly what happens to Leonard that night. He starts on his own sidr of the bed, close enough his presence is still obvious but certsinly not touching by any means. But as the night draws on, and he's taken by sleep, he curls closer against Mick's side, fingers splayed lazily against his chest, an underlying need to somehow let him know that this is not changing everything between them, that he is still, and would always be, Mick's.
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no subject
Date: 2018-02-23 02:06 am (UTC)"Yeah," he chokes out, nodding at the request. It's such a simple thing to ask for, which might be why the question almost breaks him to hear. "Let's go," he says quietly, slowly getting to his feet, but he doesn't let go of Mick's hand like he might have usually.
no subject
Date: 2018-02-26 03:23 pm (UTC)Not tonight.
Mick keeps to his promise. He doesn't try anything, he doesn't even reach over to hold his hand or gather his partner into his arms like he so desperately wants to. To both offer and receive comfort.
He doesn't sleep that night. He can't, not with his head and his heart still at war over what had been said. A deal had been made and Mick still feels utterly sick over it.
Mick Rory loves Leonard Snart. He always will. He's been stupidly gone on him since a year or two after juvie and no matter how strained things got, no matter how frustrating he could be, Mick always comes back. Always. It's like Leonard has a gravitational pull all his own - one that draws Mick back in before he can even consider it's happening.
Mick is also pretty sure that Leonard loves him too.
Nobody would put up with his temperamental bullshit, his possessiveness and his impulse control problems if they didn't give a damn.
Mick also craves touch almost as deeply as he craves fire. Not random touch, nobody can just climb him like a mountain when they see fit, but when he needs it, when that itch beneath his skin is almost too much to bear, a hand will soothe it away almost as easily as fire.
Fuck.
He doesn't know what to do.
Mick wishes he was as smart as his partner in moments like this, moments when he needed to be able to think of another way to handle a situation because right now the only options all seem to involve some level of hurt.
They were so perfectly in sync during the heist.
It's just everywhere else that rhythm seems to have fallen apart and he hates it.
no subject
Date: 2018-02-27 02:32 pm (UTC)Sometimes, though, a person can be driven by something wholly subconscious, and while he sleeps, that is exactly what happens to Leonard that night. He starts on his own sidr of the bed, close enough his presence is still obvious but certsinly not touching by any means. But as the night draws on, and he's taken by sleep, he curls closer against Mick's side, fingers splayed lazily against his chest, an underlying need to somehow let him know that this is not changing everything between them, that he is still, and would always be, Mick's.