Lisa watches him, lets him get things out without interrupting him. She knows it's hard for him to say, it's hard for her to hear. The knowledge that she did in fact help though does ease the ache of possibly betraying his trust a bit. She's glad that he's not mad with her for telling Mick...it was actually something she was pretty worried about.
She's also glad that from what he's saying, that him and Mick have talked and hopefully reached an understanding. She really hopes so. Lenny has so little in his life and it breaks her to think he might lose such an important part of it...someone she would actually bet holds more of Lenny's heart than even she does.
"I didn't understand really...not at first. Not until my junior year in high school.....then I understood what really happened." She didn't elaborate...Lenny didn't know what happened to her and she wasn't of mind to tell him. She didn't need to make this about her...and she really didn't want to deal with angry Lenny on top of sad/depressed Lenny.
"And then well...it had been almost five years and I didn't know how to mention it or say anything without making things a million times worse. I figured you'd be okay...but then...all of this..." She waves her hand around at the room indicating the tension and the fights he and Mick had been having. "I just didn't want you to lose him...."
A frown creases deeply across his forehead when she mentions, so casually, some kind of incident from her junior year. "Wait, Lise- what...what happened in your junior year?" He stares up at her, concerned about what she was eluding to.
"I don't want that, either. I'm terrified of it," he admits, in a rare moment of unbridled honesty. "Kind of became a cycle that fed into itself, you know?" He manages the smallest of smiles up at her, "If not for you, I might have eventually found out what Mick's limit for bullshit is and then where would I be?" An attempt, however weak and borderline gallows humor it may be, at levity.
Lisa didn't elaborate, He'll have to ask again if he really wants to know. Instead she meets his tentative smile with one of her own. "Well I'm glad I'm here to help you two understand what the other is trying to say. And if you two split. Homeless, Lenny. We'd be homeless." She deadpans with her own gallows humor because they really wouldn't be...but with the three of them here...it is home. Not just a safe house. A safe home.
"Yeah, me too." he admits, chuckling a little at her own joke. Sometimes, he's not so sure he and Mick would have made it this far without Lisa. This is hardly new; she's been fixing their arguments for awhile now.
But he can't just let that other part drop, either. Maybe this wasn't about her, but... he can't help be curious about that admission. "Lise...?" He bites his lip, canting his head up at her. "what did you mean? What happened, when you were in high school?"
Lisa heaves a heavy sigh and her gaze falls to her own lap, her brow furrowing slightly. "I got tipsy at a party, some guys took advantage of it." She said softly. "And...dads 'friends' also started to notice....I looked 'more grown up'...and 'like a proper pretty lady.' Lewis didn't exactly tell them no when they would grope me or make me sit in their lap. Even though I did say no. I fought back once...I learned my 'lesson'..." She hid her face in her knees for a moment.
"It's fine though...well..not fine...but I know it wasn't my fault now. Some of those counselors in college...they know what they're talking about...."
The story makes his stomach twist harshly. He never knew, but somehow, none of it really surprises him, particularly the bits about Lewis' "friends". "God, Lise..." He can't help it, she breaks every personal boundary rule he has; he shifts and tilts her chin up, pressing their foreheads together and cupping the back of her head with his hand. "I'm so sorry...that I didn't get you out of there sooner."
She doesn't cry...maybe she should be worried that her eyes don't even get misty but she's through crying over that part of her life. She's safe now. No man will ever touch her again without her approval or he will be missing limbs...if he remains breathing at all. She lets Len hold her, their foreheads touching, relaxed, drawing strength from each other. She doesn't know what to say because "It's okay" is not appropriate. It's not okay, none of it is, but she understands things now. She knows Len did what he could...knows he tried his hardest. She doesn't blame him for any of it nor does she think he could have done anything better or differently. It is..simply what it is. Shitty. But they survived.
"Love you," he mumbles quietly against her skin as he presses a kiss to her forehead before pulling away. She's more than welcome to follow, cling, curl against him, whatever she may want or need just then. But there's really nothing left to say, so he doesn't say anything else at all, rather he just stares at the tv, not really seeing what's there, just at a loss of where else to go from here.
Lisa follows, she doesn't want him to pull away and she doesn't want to lose the contact. Len is warm...comfortable. They don't do this often but if he's going to allow it shes going to do it. She wraps her arms around his waist and buries her head in his chest, curling up beside him. "I love you too." She replies, slightly muffled by his shirt. She doesn't know what to say or do either...what is there to say or do when you each find out for 100% certainty that the other was hurt like that...when you know without a doubt that you've both survived an absolutely horrible situation...
She's going to sit here beside him like this for as long as he allows...and maybe...she might even fight for longer if she thinks she needs it. Nothing can hurt her with him there, nothing at all can get to her with him beside her keeping her safe.
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Date: 2018-03-27 01:46 pm (UTC)She's also glad that from what he's saying, that him and Mick have talked and hopefully reached an understanding. She really hopes so. Lenny has so little in his life and it breaks her to think he might lose such an important part of it...someone she would actually bet holds more of Lenny's heart than even she does.
"I didn't understand really...not at first. Not until my junior year in high school.....then I understood what really happened." She didn't elaborate...Lenny didn't know what happened to her and she wasn't of mind to tell him. She didn't need to make this about her...and she really didn't want to deal with angry Lenny on top of sad/depressed Lenny.
"And then well...it had been almost five years and I didn't know how to mention it or say anything without making things a million times worse. I figured you'd be okay...but then...all of this..." She waves her hand around at the room indicating the tension and the fights he and Mick had been having. "I just didn't want you to lose him...."
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Date: 2018-03-27 02:20 pm (UTC)"I don't want that, either. I'm terrified of it," he admits, in a rare moment of unbridled honesty. "Kind of became a cycle that fed into itself, you know?" He manages the smallest of smiles up at her, "If not for you, I might have eventually found out what Mick's limit for bullshit is and then where would I be?" An attempt, however weak and borderline gallows humor it may be, at levity.
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Date: 2018-03-27 02:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-03-27 03:05 pm (UTC)But he can't just let that other part drop, either. Maybe this wasn't about her, but... he can't help be curious about that admission. "Lise...?" He bites his lip, canting his head up at her. "what did you mean? What happened, when you were in high school?"
no subject
Date: 2018-03-27 03:12 pm (UTC)"It's fine though...well..not fine...but I know it wasn't my fault now. Some of those counselors in college...they know what they're talking about...."
no subject
Date: 2018-03-27 03:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-03-27 03:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-03-27 04:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-03-27 04:20 pm (UTC)She's going to sit here beside him like this for as long as he allows...and maybe...she might even fight for longer if she thinks she needs it. Nothing can hurt her with him there, nothing at all can get to her with him beside her keeping her safe.