The thing is she remembers it in clips and flashes.
Sometimes in her dreams. If you can call anything that horrific a dream. Sometimes clips and flashes more since the time she held her hand out and let Merlin take it, let Merlin step all the way into it. And later, she understood better, what she hadn't then; into her. Let him chance the fact it might have been him, or be him one day. Bash through the walls that she agreed to. Anything to stay alive. Anything to finish the mission. The one she couldn't even remember agreeing to. The one she never finished, because she'd been before that bastard, and suddenly
flash-BANG
And she was in the Shattered Universe without any warning, and almost without any recollection at first.
It's hard to pick words. It's been dormant so long. It's a pride, a shame, a tool, a loss.
But what it all really comes down to is -- "I made a deal."
He takes those words and holds them for a long, silent moment. They're bigger than they look, and he knows it, knows that deals are so much more involved than they ever sound like on the surface.
Deals were Crowley's thing. And, fuck he hates thinking of him. Of the hundreds of things that spiral out and down in waves and waterfalls on the heels of that thought. But once it starts, there's no stopping it. It trickles out and threatens to sink him before he can try to patch the hole it rips in the center of him.
"What kind of deal, exactly?" he can't help the curiosity of it. And almost as an afterthought, he adds, "with who?"
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no subject
Date: 2019-02-10 08:30 pm (UTC)The thing is she remembers it in clips and flashes.
Sometimes in her dreams. If you can call anything that horrific a dream. Sometimes clips and flashes more since the time she held her hand out and let Merlin take it, let Merlin step all the way into it. And later, she understood better, what she hadn't then; into her. Let him chance the fact it might have been him, or be him one day. Bash through the walls that she agreed to. Anything to stay alive. Anything to finish the mission. The one she couldn't even remember agreeing to. The one she never finished, because she'd been before that bastard, and suddenly
flash-BANG
And she was in the Shattered Universe without any warning, and almost without any recollection at first.
It's hard to pick words. It's been dormant so long. It's a pride, a shame, a tool, a loss.
But what it all really comes down to is -- "I made a deal."
no subject
Date: 2021-11-10 12:36 am (UTC)Deals were Crowley's thing. And, fuck he hates thinking of him. Of the hundreds of things that spiral out and down in waves and waterfalls on the heels of that thought. But once it starts, there's no stopping it. It trickles out and threatens to sink him before he can try to patch the hole it rips in the center of him.
"What kind of deal, exactly?" he can't help the curiosity of it. And almost as an afterthought, he adds, "with who?"