Paco's face lost all traces of humour as he stayed silent for a moment, fingers itching to reach up and touch his necklace out of habit. "You know, Cisco, I thought you were smarter than this." He gave him a grave look, his fists clenching at his side as he straightened himself up, his body language was tense. "Is this your way of getting revenge on me? For scaring you? I was helping you. Was. I won't be helping you now, you want to use my weakness against me? You idiot." He grit his teeth and came towards Cisco, his mind racing. No way was this true, it wasn't real. He saw Hart die, he watched it, he knew it. He would have seen it himself! He paused not far from Cisco and a dark smirk came to his face.
"You know the ring he has is different from my ring. See, I made his and he made mine." Paco came to a halt and raised his hand at Cisco, a simple thread but a real one. "I know that ring inside and out and if you saw it, you can make me believe you did. And I'd do it fast because lying to me makes me very unhappy. Especially about him. I will shatter your insides to pieces if you are messing with me right now." This wasn't a funny joke. "Give me something to make me believe you. Tell me something about the ring."
Cisco felt it the instant everything shifted. Expected it, even, but that didn't make it any less jarring when it happened. Any ounce of something like okay was sucked from the room and instead the air was thick and tense and Cisco was reminded not of the guy with a heart and a lost love that had been sitting on his couch a week ago, but the one that called himself a God and looked at Cisco like he was nothing, back on E-2. The difference is stark and it's almost odd to think the two were even the same person at all.
"I'm not lying. Jesus, you think I would do that to you? About this? About him?" The incredulity reflected in both his face and his voice were over the top, but he couldn't fathom making a joke out of something like this. "It was silver, had a...maybe Celtic design on it, green inlay behind it." He shakes his head, "I only saw it for like half a second before he tucked it away again. Paco, I wouldn't lieabout this! Please, you have to stop being paranoid long enough to believe me. We can find him, you can still save him like you promised."
Seeing Hartley, any Hartley, in the state he was in was enough to wreck Cisco. He can't begin to picture what this means, how it translates to Paco. The one person in the entire world he loved more than anything, who he'd thought was dead, never was. And best Cisco could gather from the way Hart refused to believe him either, he'd thought Paco was gone, too. There's no universe where that's okay to him, and if there's a chance he can fix it, he's going to.
That was it. Hart's ring. He knew it and there was no way he could have known it if it wasn't something he'd seen. Unless he just saw a glimpse of the past. That was it, it wasn't real. It wasn't something that could be happening. It wasn't possible because if it was, he had to let himself open up to the idea of that Hart could be alive. That Hart could have been there this whole time while he didn't know, while he wasn't there to try and help him. It meant that he was failing, even now, that he was still capable of letting him die.
Oh God, it was happening again. It was going to happen all over again and he couldn't take that, he couldn't take the small shred of hope here that could be so cruel snatched away from him again. He didn't even know how to react to this. How to even express anything he was feeling. What did he even say to this? First, he had to let go of the breath he was holding.
"... Where did you see him?" His tone was as even as he could make it, a mix of pain and anger barely held back. "Where was he?"
"I don't know," He knows it's not an answer that will be received well, but it's the truth. "It was dark and there wasn't anything identifying around. And he couldn't...he couldn't tell me anything either." He's not sure Hart has even seen the light of day in a very long time, but he can't bring himself to say it.
"It was a cell somewhere...one door in and out, no windows..." Not helpful at all, but-- "Where would Zoom keep someone he didn't want found, Reverb?" All that time he spent as Zoom's loyal guard dog had to mean he knew something that could give them a jumping off point, at least, right?
"He's in a cell? So he's still there? All this time and ..." Oh God. All this time, he was still there? Locked there all alone with no one looking for him. Paco took a shaky breath and stared at Cisco for a moment before he turned away from Cisco and reached his hand up, adjusting his setting on his glasses before holding out his hand.
Was he making a breach? Of course he was. Like hell was he waiting for this. He wasn't thinking rationally, he wasn't even thinking. All that was in his head was Hart and he didn't care right now. The world didn't matter, Zoom didn't matter. All that mattered was that he had to get to Hart. He just had to get to the cells. He had to find Hart.
Oh. Oh, so he knows where he is. Apparently exactly, or close enough. Good, that's good. They can figure this out. They can make a plan and they can--
"Wait!" Stupid decisions make up a great percentage of Cisco's life and reaching over and grabbing Reverb's wrist ranks up pretty high toward the top of the list. But like hell he was going let Paco just barge in, mid-emotional-breakdown and ruin his chance of actually saving his husband. "You can't just fucking go in guns blazing, you need a plan."
He yanks on his mirror's wrist and spins him around so they're practically nose-to-nose. "I know you're not an idiot, so don't be one right now. Don't blow the chance you have. You have so much advantage in this situation right now. Zoom doesn't even know you're still alive. He doesn't know we know Hart's alive. Do this right so you can save your husband."
"You can't tell me what to do though, can you?" Paco snapped as he reached out with his free hand and grabbed Cisco by his shirt, fingers twisting in the fabric as he held onto it, the anger in his face clear now as he backed him up across the room. He was furious, literally shaking with anger. It was easy to be like this, to be angry, the alternative was too much. He didn't want to break apart, not again. "You're weak, you can't even use your powers right. How are you ever going to stop me? I'm a God, I can shatter men from the inside out! No one can stop me!"
He was yelling now, he didn't know why he was yelling, he just felt too much and he wasn't used to it. "Not even Zoom can stop me this time, I'm going to rip him to pieces for what he did to me. What he's still doing to me. It's never going to be over until I end him and God knows, you idiots aren't going to do it, are you?" His breathing got rapid and uneven as he felt himself choke up and -- fuck, no, he was not doing this in front of Cisco of all people. He just kept going, kept pushing on. "Do you have any idea what he means to me? No. Of course you don't, you couldn't even comprehend what I feel for Hart. You have nothing close to it! He is everything and if he's alive, I will tear this stupid world down to get him. I don't need this Earth or my Earth, I just need him."
His voice cracked at the end of the sentence as he felt his hand tremble slightly. He needed Hart, he needed him so much right now. He just needed someone to hold him and tell him it was going to be okay. That he was forgiven. For not knowing, not trying, for letting him down. He needed Hart. "I'm going to get him back and I'm not waiting."
Cisco can only hear Paco through the sound of his own heartbeat thudding in his ears as he grabs him and backs him across the room, yelling and angry because it's easier. And Cisco knows that's all it is. The mask against everything he has to be feeling right now.
Not to say he isn't terrified, because he is, because he's not wrong-- he could do a number of creative things to Cisco and it'd be done in an instant. And Cisco has no real way to fight back because he has no clue what he's doing. But it doesn't matter because he's going to get through to him one way or another. Even if he has to be a dick about it. Cisco's chin tilts up, defiant, and his voice matches, "If it was that easy, you would have stopped Zoom long before now and we both know it."
But all that resolve is quickly dissipating because the more Paco says, the harder it is to keep that bravado together. He's literally watching a man break before his eyes and he has no fucking clue how to stop it right now. He just knows they have to form a plan before they make a move and he has to stop him from doing anything stupid before that, somehow.
"Maybe I don't know, and I don't have the same thing you have with him, but I do have some idea of how important he is to you. I do understand what it's like to have somebody who you'd go to the ends of the Earth and beyond for. And the last thing you need to do right now is wreck the one chance you have left to get all of that back." He reaches up and tugs Paco's hand away from his chest where his fingers twisted into his shirt. "Come on." He drops his hand and leans forward, an attempt at catching his eyes though it was hard to tell if he actually had because of the glasses. "Let us help you."
There was not denying that Cisco was right. He couldn't beat Zoom, there was no way to beat Zoom, he had something over Paco that he could never describe, something primal and irrational. He was afraid of Zoom. Of that coldness, that dead heart that he had, the fact that he could do that to him and Hart without remorse. He didn't know what they had, he didn't understand it and then suddenly, he wanted it himself. And to have to watch him pine and yearn for something from that Killer Frost lookalike here, like he knew love, like he could understand it somehow. It hurt. He just couldn't ever understand. He didn't deserve it. Paco wanted so badly to hurt him but every time he thought about it, really thought about it, the fear seized him and he always froze up. It happened when Zoom came at him last time.
Paco did everything right as his second in command, he did everything he could to please Zoom and that was where it got him? No, he knew what Hunter would have said, that this is where emotions got him. Zoom always warned him not to feel, not to fall for anything and there he went, falling for Hart. He felt a crushing weight in his chest that got worse and worse with every minute, it was like he'd taken a step back into a nightmare he'd only just escaped. He was where he once had been again, knowing that Hart was alive and so close, wanting him to come and being unable to do anything about it.
It was that feeling of being powerless that hurt the most.
Paco let go and took a few steps away, he didn't say anything for a while but the breach had closed itself without someone maintaining and he was making no move to open it again. "I need him back. I need him to be safe." Paco said finally as he took a deep breath, trying desperately to compose himself. "He doesn't like being alone. He was always alone and I--" He paused and swallowed hard, feeling tears build in his eyes. Fuck. "I always promised he'd never have to live like that again. I keep... I keep letting him down. I failed." Again and again, he always failed where it counted. Hart.
Cisco just watches him in the silence that stretches on for what felt like an awfully long time. Paco looks so different in this moment, the complete opposite of everything he always puts on for the world to see. This isn't the God among men ready to tear worlds apart, it's just a man with a lot of broken pieces he doesn't know how to begin to pick up.
He pulls away and steps back and Cisco isn't sure what to expect at first. Had he gotten through to him at all? Was Paco just going to do whatever he wanted, consequences be damned? But then he speaks and it hurts to hear the way he's trying to keep it together while the world is crashing at his feet. "You won't," he says, voice soft, but confident, firm in the belief he was presenting. "Not this time." He cautiously reaches out to rest a hand on Paco's shoulder, a gesture of comfort, reassurance.
Just knowing that Hart was alive, that there was a chance, it was terrifying. He could fail again and that was somehow worse. It was much worse this time, he couldn't afford to mess this up. And all he had for back up was this team. An impulsive speedster, someone who couldn't access their powers, a somewhat high strung doctor and the man who looked so much like Hart, he couldn't bear to be near him. Every time, it ripped his heart to pieces. It was too much to meet those eyes and stand in his presence.
"I won't." He had to try, right? What else did he have left to lose? Either Zoom died or he died. That was how this was going to die. And either way, he was going to make sure Hart lived. He turned to Cisco, blinking away tears the best he could, glad that none had fallen. "But words are nothing, Cisco. They don't matter. Actions matter. You can tell me you can help me but you need to prove to me that you can help me." He took his glasses off with great reluctance and looked into Cisco's eyes properly this time. There were tears there, unshed but obvious, and he didn't look away. He let himself expose that vulnerable part of him because he needed to reach Cisco, he needed to connect. "Hart is in danger and I can't do this alone. You have to help me. Please."
Yes, he really said please, that was how desperate he was. "So show me. Show me how much you want to help me." He turned his head and looked over at a computer chair across the room, pointing in it's direction. "Make the chair move without touching it. Show me that you can do it. That you can do something to have my back out there."
There's a certain note of determination in Paco's voice that makes Cisco feel a little better. He's not shutting down, he's not discounting the idea of letting them help. It's a good sign, the right direction to be headed in. When he takes his glasses off, Cisco feels something in his chest twist because there's something so vulnerable about him in this moment, and it's not the unshed tears that make him that way. He's actually asking for help. Asking, not demanding. Not barking orders like he thinks Cisco is beneath him. Asking.
Cisco nods a bit. "You have my help, Paco." Because there was no way for him not to give it. Not in this. And he's right. Cisco knows he is. He has to be able to put the action behind the words. He has to be able to harness his powers or they don't have a chance.
He follows Paco's gaze and turns toward the chair across the room. He can do this, right? He can do this. There's a pressure on this moment right now that he can't mess up and it has every nerve on fire. He takes a deep breath as he focuses on the chair, lifting his hand and trying to force it to move.
Except nothing happens.
Because of course it doesn't.
Because he has no clue what he's doing. And he can't even move a stupid chair, so how the hell is he going to be able to help save Hart?
He tries another two times and on the last one, it actually worked. A blast of energy shoots the chair across the room. He stares in surprise between his hand and the chair for a moment. Holy shit, he'd done it!
Paco was equally as shocked because, while it might sound a little harsh, he didn't expect Cisco to do anything right and yet here they were, with things not going to hell entirely. Sure, it took three tries but this was more than they'd ever had before. It was a building block to something real, something useful.
Paco exhaled in relief and gave Cisco a look. "More of that. Less of the vibes. Got it?"
That was what they needed to defeat Zoom and get his Hart back so right now, he really needed Cisco to focus up. And it was a good start, just knowing that this wasn't entirely a lost cause. "Do it again." What? Like once was it forever. He wanted to see him try again. "Can you do it again?"
"Yeah, I think so." Now that he'd actually done it, there was reason to believe he could repeat it. Confidence, even. Which translates pretty clearly when he tries again, and this time the chair moves with more purpose than just the luck of all the pieces falling together in the right place.
There's kind of a rush that comes with it, something a little bit beyond just the accomplishment of doing something he didn't think he could do, something deeper. But he's not dwelling on any of that right now, he's too busy riding the high of this new development.
"Hey. Look at that. You're not entirely useless after all." Paco really had to work on being a better motivator. He reached out and slapped Cisco hard on the back, not meaning to hurt him but that was just how he and Dante always congratulated each other. He was used to that kind of brute force. "You needed a motivator. So cling to this, stick with the idea. You're doing this for me and Hart. You're doing this for the Flash and to defeat Zoom."
All good reasons and all good motivators. He smiled. It was often that Paco smiled but there he was, smiling. Because he had something. A small ray of hope. It had been a long, long time since he felt anything like this. "If you could get stronger, we could be unstoppable."
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Date: 2016-11-08 12:27 am (UTC)"You know the ring he has is different from my ring. See, I made his and he made mine." Paco came to a halt and raised his hand at Cisco, a simple thread but a real one. "I know that ring inside and out and if you saw it, you can make me believe you did. And I'd do it fast because lying to me makes me very unhappy. Especially about him. I will shatter your insides to pieces if you are messing with me right now." This wasn't a funny joke. "Give me something to make me believe you. Tell me something about the ring."
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Date: 2016-11-08 01:19 am (UTC)"I'm not lying. Jesus, you think I would do that to you? About this? About him?" The incredulity reflected in both his face and his voice were over the top, but he couldn't fathom making a joke out of something like this. "It was silver, had a...maybe Celtic design on it, green inlay behind it." He shakes his head, "I only saw it for like half a second before he tucked it away again. Paco, I wouldn't lie about this! Please, you have to stop being paranoid long enough to believe me. We can find him, you can still save him like you promised."
Seeing Hartley, any Hartley, in the state he was in was enough to wreck Cisco. He can't begin to picture what this means, how it translates to Paco. The one person in the entire world he loved more than anything, who he'd thought was dead, never was. And best Cisco could gather from the way Hart refused to believe him either, he'd thought Paco was gone, too. There's no universe where that's okay to him, and if there's a chance he can fix it, he's going to.
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Date: 2016-11-08 03:38 pm (UTC)Oh God, it was happening again. It was going to happen all over again and he couldn't take that, he couldn't take the small shred of hope here that could be so cruel snatched away from him again. He didn't even know how to react to this. How to even express anything he was feeling. What did he even say to this? First, he had to let go of the breath he was holding.
"... Where did you see him?" His tone was as even as he could make it, a mix of pain and anger barely held back. "Where was he?"
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Date: 2016-11-08 04:42 pm (UTC)"It was a cell somewhere...one door in and out, no windows..." Not helpful at all, but-- "Where would Zoom keep someone he didn't want found, Reverb?" All that time he spent as Zoom's loyal guard dog had to mean he knew something that could give them a jumping off point, at least, right?
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Date: 2016-11-08 06:31 pm (UTC)Was he making a breach? Of course he was. Like hell was he waiting for this. He wasn't thinking rationally, he wasn't even thinking. All that was in his head was Hart and he didn't care right now. The world didn't matter, Zoom didn't matter. All that mattered was that he had to get to Hart. He just had to get to the cells. He had to find Hart.
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Date: 2016-11-08 06:43 pm (UTC)"Wait!" Stupid decisions make up a great percentage of Cisco's life and reaching over and grabbing Reverb's wrist ranks up pretty high toward the top of the list. But like hell he was going let Paco just barge in, mid-emotional-breakdown and ruin his chance of actually saving his husband. "You can't just fucking go in guns blazing, you need a plan."
He yanks on his mirror's wrist and spins him around so they're practically nose-to-nose. "I know you're not an idiot, so don't be one right now. Don't blow the chance you have. You have so much advantage in this situation right now. Zoom doesn't even know you're still alive. He doesn't know we know Hart's alive. Do this right so you can save your husband."
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Date: 2016-11-08 07:10 pm (UTC)He was yelling now, he didn't know why he was yelling, he just felt too much and he wasn't used to it. "Not even Zoom can stop me this time, I'm going to rip him to pieces for what he did to me. What he's still doing to me. It's never going to be over until I end him and God knows, you idiots aren't going to do it, are you?" His breathing got rapid and uneven as he felt himself choke up and -- fuck, no, he was not doing this in front of Cisco of all people. He just kept going, kept pushing on. "Do you have any idea what he means to me? No. Of course you don't, you couldn't even comprehend what I feel for Hart. You have nothing close to it! He is everything and if he's alive, I will tear this stupid world down to get him. I don't need this Earth or my Earth, I just need him."
His voice cracked at the end of the sentence as he felt his hand tremble slightly. He needed Hart, he needed him so much right now. He just needed someone to hold him and tell him it was going to be okay. That he was forgiven. For not knowing, not trying, for letting him down. He needed Hart. "I'm going to get him back and I'm not waiting."
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Date: 2016-11-08 07:24 pm (UTC)Not to say he isn't terrified, because he is, because he's not wrong-- he could do a number of creative things to Cisco and it'd be done in an instant. And Cisco has no real way to fight back because he has no clue what he's doing. But it doesn't matter because he's going to get through to him one way or another. Even if he has to be a dick about it. Cisco's chin tilts up, defiant, and his voice matches, "If it was that easy, you would have stopped Zoom long before now and we both know it."
But all that resolve is quickly dissipating because the more Paco says, the harder it is to keep that bravado together. He's literally watching a man break before his eyes and he has no fucking clue how to stop it right now. He just knows they have to form a plan before they make a move and he has to stop him from doing anything stupid before that, somehow.
"Maybe I don't know, and I don't have the same thing you have with him, but I do have some idea of how important he is to you. I do understand what it's like to have somebody who you'd go to the ends of the Earth and beyond for. And the last thing you need to do right now is wreck the one chance you have left to get all of that back." He reaches up and tugs Paco's hand away from his chest where his fingers twisted into his shirt. "Come on." He drops his hand and leans forward, an attempt at catching his eyes though it was hard to tell if he actually had because of the glasses. "Let us help you."
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Date: 2016-11-08 08:16 pm (UTC)Paco did everything right as his second in command, he did everything he could to please Zoom and that was where it got him? No, he knew what Hunter would have said, that this is where emotions got him. Zoom always warned him not to feel, not to fall for anything and there he went, falling for Hart. He felt a crushing weight in his chest that got worse and worse with every minute, it was like he'd taken a step back into a nightmare he'd only just escaped. He was where he once had been again, knowing that Hart was alive and so close, wanting him to come and being unable to do anything about it.
It was that feeling of being powerless that hurt the most.
Paco let go and took a few steps away, he didn't say anything for a while but the breach had closed itself without someone maintaining and he was making no move to open it again. "I need him back. I need him to be safe." Paco said finally as he took a deep breath, trying desperately to compose himself. "He doesn't like being alone. He was always alone and I--" He paused and swallowed hard, feeling tears build in his eyes. Fuck. "I always promised he'd never have to live like that again. I keep... I keep letting him down. I failed." Again and again, he always failed where it counted. Hart.
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Date: 2016-11-08 08:46 pm (UTC)He pulls away and steps back and Cisco isn't sure what to expect at first. Had he gotten through to him at all? Was Paco just going to do whatever he wanted, consequences be damned? But then he speaks and it hurts to hear the way he's trying to keep it together while the world is crashing at his feet. "You won't," he says, voice soft, but confident, firm in the belief he was presenting. "Not this time." He cautiously reaches out to rest a hand on Paco's shoulder, a gesture of comfort, reassurance.
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Date: 2016-11-08 08:59 pm (UTC)"I won't." He had to try, right? What else did he have left to lose? Either Zoom died or he died. That was how this was going to die. And either way, he was going to make sure Hart lived. He turned to Cisco, blinking away tears the best he could, glad that none had fallen. "But words are nothing, Cisco. They don't matter. Actions matter. You can tell me you can help me but you need to prove to me that you can help me." He took his glasses off with great reluctance and looked into Cisco's eyes properly this time. There were tears there, unshed but obvious, and he didn't look away. He let himself expose that vulnerable part of him because he needed to reach Cisco, he needed to connect. "Hart is in danger and I can't do this alone. You have to help me. Please."
Yes, he really said please, that was how desperate he was. "So show me. Show me how much you want to help me." He turned his head and looked over at a computer chair across the room, pointing in it's direction. "Make the chair move without touching it. Show me that you can do it. That you can do something to have my back out there."
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Date: 2016-11-09 03:55 am (UTC)Cisco nods a bit. "You have my help, Paco." Because there was no way for him not to give it. Not in this. And he's right. Cisco knows he is. He has to be able to put the action behind the words. He has to be able to harness his powers or they don't have a chance.
He follows Paco's gaze and turns toward the chair across the room. He can do this, right? He can do this. There's a pressure on this moment right now that he can't mess up and it has every nerve on fire. He takes a deep breath as he focuses on the chair, lifting his hand and trying to force it to move.
Except nothing happens.
Because of course it doesn't.
Because he has no clue what he's doing. And he can't even move a stupid chair, so how the hell is he going to be able to help save Hart?
He tries another two times and on the last one, it actually worked. A blast of energy shoots the chair across the room. He stares in surprise between his hand and the chair for a moment. Holy shit, he'd done it!
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Date: 2016-11-10 06:48 pm (UTC)Paco exhaled in relief and gave Cisco a look. "More of that. Less of the vibes. Got it?"
That was what they needed to defeat Zoom and get his Hart back so right now, he really needed Cisco to focus up. And it was a good start, just knowing that this wasn't entirely a lost cause. "Do it again." What? Like once was it forever. He wanted to see him try again. "Can you do it again?"
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Date: 2016-11-14 06:40 pm (UTC)There's kind of a rush that comes with it, something a little bit beyond just the accomplishment of doing something he didn't think he could do, something deeper. But he's not dwelling on any of that right now, he's too busy riding the high of this new development.
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Date: 2016-11-14 08:43 pm (UTC)All good reasons and all good motivators. He smiled. It was often that Paco smiled but there he was, smiling. Because he had something. A small ray of hope. It had been a long, long time since he felt anything like this. "If you could get stronger, we could be unstoppable."