myheadisaprison | {There's a gap in my memories where you used to be

From:

Two weeks. Two weeks of barely even flickers of recognition. He keeps trying to figure out where he fits, on the team, and with them all individually. Nothing really feels right, though, everything's a little too off-kilter, a little too much like trying to shove pieces that don't fit together for the sake of finishing the puzzle. Except you don't get the bigger picture that way and it isn't working any better now, either.

He spends a lot of time alone, which feels as wrong as it does right, in most cases. People check on him. Gideon runs well checks. Ray annoys him with his peppy, Boy Scout attitude, but he can't really hate him for it, either. They all have their quirks and their own ways of proving they care. Most of it has him rolling his eyes and insisting he's fine and really, shouldn't all their science nerds gathered here be working to find a way to reverse the Tabula Rasa that was done to his brain?

He hasn't gone on many of their missions. Once or twice, but nothing steady. Mostly just as a number more than anything, he thinks. But it was during those that he realized that his muscle memory is apparently better than his actual one and that's just annoying. Skills he has no memory of learning are still easy as breathing and he thinks it must mean something. That there's some kind of fix for this they just haven't hit yet.

[Mick]
It's debatable who his existence hits harder for, but if Leonard had to put money to it, he'd say it was Mick that suffered the most every time he looked over and found too-blue eyes. Leonard has caught him more times than he cares to count staring way too hard at him. Like he thinks he isn't really here, that if he stares hard enough, he might see some shadow of proof that he isn't.

It's happening again, even. As he's leaned against the wall in the galley, and Mick's propped in a chair nursing a beer. "I'm not going to disappear if you blink, Mick." There's a familiar way in the drawl of his name that almost feels like it could bring something to the surface. He's having a lot of that feeling lately, and he just hopes it means something will break through eventually.

[Sara]
There's something blindingly explosive about Sara, none more than when she's in the middle of a fight, gunning for blood and erupting in a perfect choreography of violence. He'd heard plenty of things about the team, the type of people that made up this time chasing crew he ran with, but nothing prepared a person for Sara in action, and the first time he'd seen it, it was teetering the edge of utterly impressive and narrowly terrifying.

It's a completely different part of her than any other he ever sees from her anywhere else. Now that he has seen it, though, he can spot it in the most mundane of times. This thing that burns under her skin, constantly, incessantly. Even when she's sitting innocently in her office, reviewing something or other that Gideon no doubt brought to her attention. "How far back do you think this job goes?" he asks suddenly from the doorway. "Think there've been crews like this since time started? Who decided that anyone has the right to touch it at all?"

Edited Date: 2017-12-15 03:57 pm (UTC)

From:

bringstheheat

Two weeks.
Two weeks of nothing.
Faint flickers, but no sign of his partner. No real sign that Leonard was returning to any of them. There were signs of muscle memory, instinct when they were on the ground. Lifting wallets, picking locks but nothing deeper.

The longer it goes on, the more Mick hates whatever force did this to them.

But he doesn't leave his side. He sticks close because he doesn't know what else to do.

He's got a beer and Leonard is picking at something when he speaks. The drawl is a bolt of ice to the chest and he only blinks through the momentary pain.

"When you were gone. I had.. illuminations. Thought I was seeing a ghost. I'd see you, I'd hear you, but nobody else could."

So yeah. There's going to be some staring.
Just to be sure.

From:

mypriority

Leonard has adjusted easily enough to the way Mick's words don't always quite hit their mark, but they're close enough the meaning usually isn't lost anyway. Something about that admission hits like a lightning strike in his chest. He'd been that wrapped up in his grief, that he'd actually hallucinated him? What the hell is he supposed to do with that? Why do all of these people like dropping bombs on top of him all the time?

"Well, other people are definitely seeing me this time." he points out with a slight shrug. It's not meant as a way to cast off what he'd gone through, just an assurance that it definitely isn't the case again. Can't be. Sara sees him, Ray talks to him, Martin has berated him more than once already. After a moment he adds, "I don't really mind the double-check...all of this feels pretty surreal to me, still." Sometimes, he's so disconnected that it feels like his life can't possibly be real.

...despite all it's failings.

{There's a gap in my memories where you used to be