What else indeed? Except not when he had a hangover and not when they were still doing this dance between them. Whatever it was. Still, it felt a little too comfortable to be curled up on his bed next to him. She kicked off her shoes and settled herself more comfortably. "Maybe Star Wars? You can tell me all about how wrong the science is and I can tell you how Greedo shot first."
And okay, maybe the closeness was making her a little uncomfortable since she felt she had to troll him while he wasn't feeling his best, but it was the price they were both going to have to pay.
"Or else we could go with Clueless. Your choice." Star Wars versus ridiculous chick flick. Which one would he pick?
He doesn't even move from where he's propped up, only perks a brow at her, "Do you even think there's a deicision in those choices?" He smirks and shakes his head, instantly regrets this terrible life choice when it makes the pounding in his head worse and rolls onto his back to lean back against the pillows. "Star Wars. Obviously."
He wonders if she just secretly wanted to watch it and that's why she gave such a ridiculous other option. "And just so you know, you're wrong. Han shot first."
Secretly? She didn't secretly want anything except things that were bad for her. Or maybe not bad for her, but bad for someone else. She was bad for people. But here she was anyway.
"I don't know. You could be a closet Alicia Silverstone fan. Or Jane Austen fan. Never know." She grabbed the remote and ended up squirming a little closer to him as she searched Netflix. "I assume we're skipping the Jar-Jar horror show?"
But then there was no chance to give an opinion because the movie, the real movie with Luke and Leia and Han, was starting up. She leaned in and murmured in his ear, "Greedo. All the way."
“Alicia Silverstone was cute for the 90’s. ...Whatever happened to her, anyway?” He gives a facial shrug and moves on pretty easily from that. “It’s like you read my mind.” He grins a bit, all too amused at the way she didn’t wait for his answer anyway. He shakes his head a little at the whisper in his ear, but doesn’t say anything about it.
One thing that Thea may or may not have noticed when they’ve hung out before is Cisco? He’s a snuggly person. At least, he is with people he’s comfortable with. And it’s sort of amped up to 20 when he doesn’t feel good. So she might notice that as the movie progresses, he inches closer and eventually, he has his head on her shoulder.
It had nothing to do with him. Or maybe it had something to do with him and something to do with her. She usually didn’t have a problem with physical contact, but things with Cisco weren’t exactly usual and the fact of his hair tickling her neck every time he breathed didn’t help matters. But neither the movie nor the hair that kept distracting her were at the forefront of her mind. Instead, it was the cause of the hangover. She’d never seen Cisco as much of a partier and she had a feeling that she wouldn’t see Barry or Caitlin or the new Harrison she’d heard about having just as much of a hangover.
Eventually, her body got used to the contact and even to the hair and she rested her cheek against his head. Her eyes watched the movie, but her mind considered what was going on. She hadn’t seen any sign of Barry outside and she’d heard that he’d moved to Cisco’s until he found his own place. Either he’d found a place already or…
“So how bad did Barry screw up?” she asked, softly enough that he could pretend not to have heard it if he didn’t really want to answer.
Cisco is perfectly content laying here, watching a movie he’s seen a billion times and can quote from start to finish if he wanted, with little to no talking breaking up the movie. Just time to chill and not think and lose himself to something that was far better than the hand he’s been given. The hand dealt to him by someone who was supposed to be his best friend. He still doesn’t know how to feel about any of it. He hates it, he knows that much. He’s angry and he’s hurt, and he can’t pretend to understand how Barry thinks it was okay, that no one else mattered the way he did. His parents, his family, his life, it was all that he cared about and it hurts more than Cisco wants to admit.
He’s pretty zoned out, absorbed into the movie when Thea speaks up. Hits the nail right on the head in the first go because of course she’d piece it together. He tenses at the question and he’s silent for a long stretch. Finally, he mumbles quietly, “I- I don’t wanna talk about it.” Even if he probably should.
Thea’s hand caught his and she slid their fingers together. So whatever it was, it was pretty bad. He was willing to admit it was something, but couldn’t bring himself to talk about it. Sometimes she thought that Barry, for all his morality and eagerness, reminded her of her brother. He could be thick-headed sometimes and she couldn’t help but wonder what he’d done now. But as much as she wanted to know, Cisco wasn’t talking.
She sighed a little and her thumb absently ran along the length of his as she tried to bring her attention back to the movie instead of the dilemma that was Cisco and Barry.
Unless she was prepared to either badger Cisco or leave him to find out from someone else, she was going to have to wait for her answer and neither was an option at the moment.
Cisco is quiet for awhile after that. He’s not necessarily focused on the movie anymore, but he’s good at pretending and he’d rather fake it than pretend he has the spoons to actually deal with anything that is real life right now.
Except the longer he sits here, pretending nothing’s wrong now that it’s out in the open that something is, the more it seems to weigh on him. The more it weighs on him, the harder he finds it to not say something. The words tumble out of his mouth before he has time to think about them or even consider stopping himself from saying them. “He changed everything, Thea. He ruined our lives.”
“Changed?” she repeated, frowning at his use of the word. It obviously had some deeper meaning that she wasn’t seeing. She had to admit that he’d been different since his brother died. There hadn’t been the prank wars that had come to be there thing, even if things still seemed lighter between the two of them than they seemed with the rest of the team.
Not that she’d seen the rest of the team much. Not since she’d stopped hiding and had convinced Ollie that she wasn’t putting on the Speedy suit again. She’d come to see Cisco a few times and was using the money she’d acquired from Malcolm to make sure she always had a ride to and from Central City. She hadn’t quite bought herself a jet, but she had first class tickets whenever she made her way over.
“None of the stuff that’s been happening is supposed to be. Probably. There’s no way to tell, really, I guess, but--” He shakes his head and pushes himself to sit up, flicking the tv off because honestly, it doesn’t matter any more. He won’t be able to go back to it right now anyway. “After we defeated Zoom...Barry went back in time and stopped his mother from being killed. And it created another timeline, and...then he tried to fix it, and set everything back the way it was and...it didn’t work like he thought it would. It’s not the same.”
She’s not wrong in thinking it’s something bigger, deeper than the hollow explanations he’s given so far. The part that bothers him the most, the part that hurts the most is what’s next. “Dante was alive in the other timeline.” The words are quiet and his voice shakes a little with the weight of them.
She closed her eyes. Well, damn. On the one hand, she knew what she’d do to bring her mother back. She’d been in the position Barry had; she’d seen it happen. She’d gone through a hell of a lot to fix her own mistake and bring Sara back, despite everything Malcolm warned her would happen. They’d only gotten her back because of someone Ollie happened to know. She knew what it was like, too, to have your choices come back to haunt you. Her choice to leave with Malcolm was what had led to Sara’s death in the first place.
But she also knew what it was like having your entire life rearranged because of someone else’s choices, something you never had a say in and weren’t able to change. If Ollie had never run off with Sara, if he had never done whatever he’d done to Slade Wilson, their mother would still be alive. If he’d trusted her instead of trying to keep her ‘safe’, she wouldn’t have run away in the first place.
She probably would have done the same thing in Barry’s place, but she also knew too keenly what it was like to be in Cisco’s. She took his hand again and squeezed it tightly. “I’m sorry.” What else was there she could say?
He squeezes her hand back, just to assure himself he’s not alone, but he’s quiet, not really sure what to say for a moment. “I must have asked him a thousand times to go back so we could fix it, so I could save Dante. He refused. Over and over, he gave me all these excuses about how we can’t, how he’d never do that, but…” He shrugs one shoulder. “I guess what he really meant was that he’d never do it for anyone else.”
He’s so twisted up inside about all of this and he doesn’t really know what to do about it. He’ll do his job, he’ll help with metas the same as he always has, but everything between Cisco and Barry is changed. Maybe beyond a point of repair. Cisco isn’t sure you get to come back from being the reason a family member is dead.
There was a question in the back of Thea’s mind that she wasn’t ready to voice yet. That she didn’t think Cisco was ready to consider yet. That the very reason Barry was reluctant to go now was that he’d changed so much the last time. But she wasn’t ready to work out the logistics of that and the last thing Cisco needed right now was reason. For someone to explain away his hurt.
“It makes you wonder what else has changed,” she said softly. “The metaphor movies always give is dunking a rock in a lake and seeing the ripples expand. Is my life any different?” Okay, so maybe she wasn’t ready to accept reason, either. The idea that her life might have been different was definitely terrifying. What if she’d actually...been happy? No Malcolm in her life, no death.
"Yeah..." he's a little lost in his head and the distraction is evident in his voice. He pauses when she asks that question because...in all honesty, he isn't sure how much has changed, how far those ripples reached out, what else was turned upside down. He glances up and gives her a helpless shrug. "I don't really know." Which is barely even an answer, but at the moment, it's really all he's got.
"Well, this is my life," she decided. "For all the heartache, there are bright spots in it. What if, in this other universe, you and I weren't friends?" It didn't make up for him losing a brother, but it also was something she didn't want to think about. He'd given her solace when she'd needed it the most. If he weren't in her life, she might have been lost.
"You only know this one thing that's changed, right? Who says it's all bad."
He manages a smile, "I can't picture a universe where we aren't friends." Honesty, he didn't really want to. Thea was important to him, he didn't want to lose that. Lose her.
"Things changed for Cait, too." After all, Caitlin in all her Killer Frost-esque glory was how he'd found out that Barry had changed things. "She wasn't a meta in the other timeline. And now..." Now they might lose her to her powers if they can't find a way around the way it seems to take her over the more she uses it.
"And now," Thea finished, "she has all of you to help her. Best team in the world, I think." And that was a relatively unbiased account that included her own team. Her own team had been haphazard at best with most of them doing their own thing and then following Ollie when they needed to. Cisco and Caitlin and Barry were a team because they wanted to be.
Cisco just needed time to remember that.
"Look at what they did for you. Are you still scared of what your powers are going to turn you into?"
"No," He admits, shaking his head. "But...hers are different. They...they change her." It was hard to explain, but seeing it up close and personal had been...something else. "If she keeps using them...she won't Caitlin anymore."
"Everyone changes," she murmured, mostly to herself. Though she did know that those changes weren't necessarily for the better. She was living proof of that gray area between the good and the bad.
"But I maintain that she has a group of friends who'll help her figure it out. Whether that means helping her not use her powers or stopping her from becoming whoever she is when she uses them. I know you'll do anything to help her. You all will."
“Yeah...I know.” He mumbles softly. She’s not wrong. On either accounts, actually. But that doesn’t make everything feel less impossible, and it doesn’t help the way he feels toward Barry, this situation, everything that has happened as a result of it. But what if this wouldn’t have happened in the other timeline? Maybe this is one of the only shining points in this one. Because at this point, he can’t really picture not having Thea around.
She shifted up a little so that her back was against the headboard and drew Cisco to her, nudging him until his head was in her lap and she could run her fingers through his hair. There were any number of comforting words she could offer him, but she had a feeling that he wasn't up to being comforted right now. Still, even if there was nothing she could say, she could be here for him. It was the best she could do.
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no subject
Date: 2016-11-29 09:31 pm (UTC)And okay, maybe the closeness was making her a little uncomfortable since she felt she had to troll him while he wasn't feeling his best, but it was the price they were both going to have to pay.
"Or else we could go with Clueless. Your choice." Star Wars versus ridiculous chick flick. Which one would he pick?
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Date: 2016-11-30 02:08 am (UTC)He wonders if she just secretly wanted to watch it and that's why she gave such a ridiculous other option. "And just so you know, you're wrong. Han shot first."
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Date: 2016-11-30 11:18 pm (UTC)"I don't know. You could be a closet Alicia Silverstone fan. Or Jane Austen fan. Never know." She grabbed the remote and ended up squirming a little closer to him as she searched Netflix. "I assume we're skipping the Jar-Jar horror show?"
But then there was no chance to give an opinion because the movie, the real movie with Luke and Leia and Han, was starting up. She leaned in and murmured in his ear, "Greedo. All the way."
no subject
Date: 2016-12-12 03:49 am (UTC)One thing that Thea may or may not have noticed when they’ve hung out before is Cisco? He’s a snuggly person. At least, he is with people he’s comfortable with. And it’s sort of amped up to 20 when he doesn’t feel good. So she might notice that as the movie progresses, he inches closer and eventually, he has his head on her shoulder.
no subject
Date: 2016-12-12 03:50 am (UTC)Eventually, her body got used to the contact and even to the hair and she rested her cheek against his head. Her eyes watched the movie, but her mind considered what was going on. She hadn’t seen any sign of Barry outside and she’d heard that he’d moved to Cisco’s until he found his own place. Either he’d found a place already or…
“So how bad did Barry screw up?” she asked, softly enough that he could pretend not to have heard it if he didn’t really want to answer.
no subject
Date: 2016-12-12 03:51 am (UTC)He’s pretty zoned out, absorbed into the movie when Thea speaks up. Hits the nail right on the head in the first go because of course she’d piece it together. He tenses at the question and he’s silent for a long stretch. Finally, he mumbles quietly, “I- I don’t wanna talk about it.” Even if he probably should.
no subject
Date: 2016-12-12 03:55 am (UTC)She sighed a little and her thumb absently ran along the length of his as she tried to bring her attention back to the movie instead of the dilemma that was Cisco and Barry.
Unless she was prepared to either badger Cisco or leave him to find out from someone else, she was going to have to wait for her answer and neither was an option at the moment.
no subject
Date: 2016-12-12 04:01 am (UTC)Except the longer he sits here, pretending nothing’s wrong now that it’s out in the open that something is, the more it seems to weigh on him. The more it weighs on him, the harder he finds it to not say something. The words tumble out of his mouth before he has time to think about them or even consider stopping himself from saying them. “He changed everything, Thea. He ruined our lives.”
no subject
Date: 2016-12-12 04:01 am (UTC)Not that she’d seen the rest of the team much. Not since she’d stopped hiding and had convinced Ollie that she wasn’t putting on the Speedy suit again. She’d come to see Cisco a few times and was using the money she’d acquired from Malcolm to make sure she always had a ride to and from Central City. She hadn’t quite bought herself a jet, but she had first class tickets whenever she made her way over.
“Changed how? I don’t understand.”
no subject
Date: 2016-12-12 04:02 am (UTC)She’s not wrong in thinking it’s something bigger, deeper than the hollow explanations he’s given so far. The part that bothers him the most, the part that hurts the most is what’s next. “Dante was alive in the other timeline.” The words are quiet and his voice shakes a little with the weight of them.
no subject
Date: 2016-12-12 04:03 am (UTC)But she also knew what it was like having your entire life rearranged because of someone else’s choices, something you never had a say in and weren’t able to change. If Ollie had never run off with Sara, if he had never done whatever he’d done to Slade Wilson, their mother would still be alive. If he’d trusted her instead of trying to keep her ‘safe’, she wouldn’t have run away in the first place.
She probably would have done the same thing in Barry’s place, but she also knew too keenly what it was like to be in Cisco’s. She took his hand again and squeezed it tightly. “I’m sorry.” What else was there she could say?
no subject
Date: 2016-12-12 04:04 am (UTC)He’s so twisted up inside about all of this and he doesn’t really know what to do about it. He’ll do his job, he’ll help with metas the same as he always has, but everything between Cisco and Barry is changed. Maybe beyond a point of repair. Cisco isn’t sure you get to come back from being the reason a family member is dead.
no subject
Date: 2016-12-12 04:05 am (UTC)“It makes you wonder what else has changed,” she said softly. “The metaphor movies always give is dunking a rock in a lake and seeing the ripples expand. Is my life any different?” Okay, so maybe she wasn’t ready to accept reason, either. The idea that her life might have been different was definitely terrifying. What if she’d actually...been happy? No Malcolm in her life, no death.
no subject
Date: 2017-01-14 08:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-01-15 06:23 pm (UTC)"You only know this one thing that's changed, right? Who says it's all bad."
no subject
Date: 2017-01-21 08:23 pm (UTC)"Things changed for Cait, too." After all, Caitlin in all her Killer Frost-esque glory was how he'd found out that Barry had changed things. "She wasn't a meta in the other timeline. And now..." Now they might lose her to her powers if they can't find a way around the way it seems to take her over the more she uses it.
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Date: 2017-01-22 10:24 pm (UTC)Cisco just needed time to remember that.
"Look at what they did for you. Are you still scared of what your powers are going to turn you into?"
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Date: 2017-01-28 04:48 am (UTC)And that was on Barry's hands.
no subject
Date: 2017-02-07 02:45 am (UTC)"But I maintain that she has a group of friends who'll help her figure it out. Whether that means helping her not use her powers or stopping her from becoming whoever she is when she uses them. I know you'll do anything to help her. You all will."
no subject
Date: 2017-03-05 09:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-03-08 05:52 pm (UTC)